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"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?" my voice broke, mouth dry. "She's a half-breed of the fey who had the iron powers. That would make you-"

Calder interrupted, "My father was a frost faery, so I'm only a quarter ephemeral. I don't have any power or resistance to iron."

"You told me your parents were dead," I pointed out, feeling slightly betrayed that he even tried to compare his situation to mine before.

"My father is. And my mother is just as dead to me as I am to her. I was always a disgrace to her because I never wanted to be the monster she tried to make of me. When I turned on her knights to spare that family I crossed the line."

This information was so confusing to take in that it made me dizzy, and I had to sit down. "Do. . .you have a human soul?" I questioned him, remembering that the Clan did and how gray and aged they looked. My body would never mature over twenty-three.

"Yes," Calder's voice was deep, and he clenched his fist again. "Gulbrand thinks I may stop the body aging process by the time I'm twenty-six but he isn't sure. He's been trying to find some type of information on how to stop it, reading books in the Norse language from the beginning times, preparing potions, but he's found nothing."

"So he knew who you were, what you were when he found you, and saved your life. . ."

"Not at first, but he was suspicious. He questioned me when I finally regained consciousness and I knew I had to tell him or I would have surely been killed anyway. I informed him on what had happened, and he let me stay, pledging my allegiance to the Arnesen crown. He is the only one who knows the truth."

"Does she know you've been here all this time?" I asked.

"I don't know," Calder replied. "The iron knights do not speak but her faery traitors could have seen me when we were in the forest and reported to her. Either way if she does know she is going to want me dead once more."

The barn grew silent a moment, and Calder's body was a frozen, tense stance with his back to me as he spoke again.

"You don't understand what it was like for the first sixteen years of my life, Eerika. I have watched countless innocent fey be killed, some by my own hand. Every day she would train her faery knights in battle agaisnt the iron guards, and I was one of them. That's how I've learned my experience in helping the wounded because I had to fix them and myself so we could fight again. Some of my burn scars were not just from the day she tried to have me killed."

Calder then shook his head, letting out a bitter chuckle, "No, those were easy. I could handle those burns and still stand and fight. I wasn't bound by my arms and had an iron poker plunged agaisnt my chest and back while a knight held my neck. My screams of agony were like melodies to her ears."

His hands began to shake as his muscles coiled thinking back on the horrible memory. I quickly got up to walk over to him.

"She told me I was not her son and stood there watching with a smile while they burned me," his voice grew harsher, "over, and over, and over again and I-"

"Hey, Calder, it's ok. Just stop. Stop," I told him, grabbing his hand and making him turn to face me. "You don't have to go on, just. . .breathe."

I placed my hand on his cheek and he brought one of his up to hold it there, letting a breath escape.

This was the first time since we'd met that I saw him this. . .broken, and frankly I felt the same pain that he did. But I was glad that he decided to open up to me, even if it was difficult to do so.

When his eyes re-opened and his icy irises darted around my face, his thumb came up and softly stroked down my cheek before it turned serious once more.

"We're both cavorting with fire, you understand that don't you?" he questioned me, his thumb now slowly brushing across my bottom lip where his teeth had been ten minutes ago.

I gave a playful smile, not really even feeling like it came from myself. This wasn't someone who I would've been back in the human world, kissing and flirting with a man I'd known for such a short time, or even doing so at all. But I was already so changed.

"Well technically you could say frost, not fire. Unless there's something else you're not telling me," I joked.

Calder laughed through his nose though in his eyes I still saw a haunting.

"Gulbrand can't know of what I told you. I vowed to him my identity would remain a secret to only he and I, and if he discovered that you know or even what is going on between us now I don't know what he'll do. You're the princess but he could have me decommissioned or even banished, and the Clan will back up his order. He was already vexed of my claim that I left my captaincy to protect you."

"What's. . .going on between us now?" I hesitantly questioned him, because even though his mouth had just danced with mine and his hands touched me so covetously, I wasn't sure what he was thinking. I knew what I wanted, at least what I was hoping for, but I had to be sure of what he wanted too.

A small smile slipped onto his face and he leaned in, locking our lips once more. I stood on my toes to get closer to him, gripping onto the collars of his shirt. I felt breathless as he pulled away, my legs turned to noodles.

"I want to vow something to you too, Eerika," Calder mumbled to me, gazing intently into my eyes. "I am going to protect you with my life. I will not let the frozen queen hurt you. I will keep you safe. We are going to defeat her, I promise that. And every fey keeps sacred word on their vows just as we do treaties, so you need have no worry on my loyalty."

His words brought me back to my dream when he promised to protect me with every ounce of his life and how he wanted to keep me safe. Now it made me more uneasy. There were so many terrible things going on in that dream, and every day that went by--even more so now--it felt as though it was a vision of the future. I contemplated telling him about it now that secrets were out, guilt of being a hypocrite lodging into my core.

I nodded with a forced smile, leaning my head on Calder's chest and letting his arms snake around me, silence looming over except for the huffs of the horses and the blowing wind outside.

Iron Frost - Clan of the Rim Chronicles #1Where stories live. Discover now