I fear the day I become free,
I fear the day that I must leave,
But what I am,
Must I say,
Who are we,
What are they?
We ask ourselves,
Why did I wake up this morning?
What am I going to do wrong today?
Why am I not good enough?
Why does everyone hate me?
Why don't they like me?
What did I do wrong?
Why don't they love me?
We hide until we can no longer find ourselves in this desolate wasteland of hopelessness.
We cower from who we are becoming and who they are.
We scream but no one hears, not even we do.
We deny that there is anything wrong and we go to our normal tasks.
But we return back to where we think we belong.
In a dark room with no ones voice to calm yours.
We think of all the hidden possibilities
The what ifs and the changeless past.
We think ourselves further into our depression and our isolation
But we can't change it
For if we do where are we going to go?
No one is there.
Even if someone is there we fear they'll leave
So we push them away and hate ourselves more.
Why did they leave?
Why didn't they push back?
Why did they give up?
Why am I alone?
I'm scared of who I am.
I'm scared of what I'll do.
I'm scared of what I am capable of.
Why is no one there?
Hello? Are you there?
Of course you're not. You left too.
We knock on these doors knowing they'll never open.
But with a small sense of hope we try,
But they crack and then slam shut.
We shout. No one is there.
PLEASE HELP ME!
They needed you.
You never let them in.
You kept that door closed.
Out of sight. Out of mind.