Hey Little Miss. Curious :D

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This is a work of fiction.

Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locals is entirely coincidental.  ^ _ ^

Instead of POV's the story is in diary form , each diary represents how the character's think .

GABRIEL's DIARY

Howdy mates ! Me name's Gabriel

I’m writing this special message to you from my bedroom in my dreamland . 

You might bump into unfamiliar words while reading .

Well I am me and I don’t know what I’m going on about half the time . You see I have my own world and my own dictionary . However, for your benefit I’ve put a glossary at the end of this chapter .

I hope you like my diary and don’t hold it against me. Ayt ??

P.S

I have cotton balls in my nose and crossed fingers. ( Not crossed fingers in my nose , that would be weird.)

Saturday 

June 10

9:00 a.m

 Anong gagawin mo kung may tatay kang kasing abnuy ng tatay ko?

Yung totoo? Tama bang magtata talon sya sa kama ko habang sumisigaw ng " Sunog ! Sunog ! " para lang magising ako? at hindi lang yun , suot nya pa yung bra ng nanay ko !

9:34 a.m

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit hindi ako pwede mag lagay ng lock sa pinto ng kwarto ko . Twing magsa sugest ako sa bahay na to, umiiling sila lagi. Para akong nakatira sa isang bahay na puno ng mga manok na naka pantalon. O kaya bahay na puno ng mga bubble head toys. O kaya bahay na puno ng ... anyway .. in short hindi ako pwede mag lagay ng lock sa pinto ng SARILI kong kwarto .

" Bakit ?" I asked Mamsy reasonably .

She said . " Baka kasi maaksidente ka at hindi kami agad maka pasok sa kwarto mo "

" Aksidente? Tulad ng ?" I persisted.

She said. " Baka ... himatayin ka."

sumabat si Papsy . " Oo nga , baka himatayin ka sa baho ng utot mo . Hahaha ! "

See ? abnuy talaga !

I said. " Haha mo mukha mo! mas gugustuhin ko nang mabilaukan ako sa baho ng utot ko kesa... seriously bat ka nagba bra ?"

He said " Its comfy , ya know ."

He does actually have bombs at mas malaki pa sa bombs ko .

I said. " If I know bading ka ! " I turned to Mamsy. " Mamsy dalaga na ko ! Im 14 , nagsusuot na ko ng bra , medyo maluwag pa nga lang tska napupunta sa leeg ko pag natakbo ako pero atlist diba ? , and anytime dadalawin na ko ng mga red painters, I need privacy ."

Inirapan nya lang ako .

Ano ba problema ng mga gurang na to ?

Alam ko na , siguro kaya ayaw nila na maglagay ako ng lock kasi iniisip nila tumatanda na ako at hindi nila yun matanggap kasi ibig sabihin nun kailangan na nila akong lubayan at hindi na nila pwedeng kontrolin ang buhay ko .

Booger , booger on the wall who's the silliest of them all ?

9:59 a.m

May anim na bagay na maling mali sa buhay ko.

1.) My name is Gabriel Dela Merced. 

     Seriously ? Gabriel ? Ganda kong to ?. duh !

2.) May kapatid akong kambal . 4 yrs. old  .

     Aki and Ika (pronounce as AYKA) who might poo or peed somewhere in my room. . 

3.) My Papsy is a 38 year old man with a brain of a todler .

    He likes watching teletubbies.

4.) Hindi marunong magluto ang Mamsy ko.

    We always eat instant foods . You know those, just add hot water and voila ! you have food .

5.) I have a dog named Darius who thinks he's a cat .

    He likes to purr around my neck , there's nothing wrong with purring it's just that he's a 3ft. pitbull.

6.) Lastly, I have big ears the left and the right hold them up high so clean and bright .

    I feel like I'm evolving into a bunny .

Still Saturday

10:34 a.m

Aunt " Balb " Zelda came by , sister sya ni Papsy , and like my Daduds weird din sya " Balb " nga eh, but it suit's her . Para syang ulo na tinubuan ng kamay at paa . 

Meron syang weird manerism , hilig nyang kolektahin yung booger  nya, bibilugin nya yun tapos ipangba bala nya sa goma . One time nga humikab si Papsy tapos nasapul sya ni aunt Zelda sa ngala ngala , imbis na magalit sya , nagbilog din sya ng booger nya and thats when  "BOOGER FIGHT " is born , gusto pa nga nilang kunin yung booger ko eh kaso pinagdamot ko .

10:35 a.m

Nalunok kaya ni Papsy yung booger ni Aunt Zelda? .

ERRLACK !

11:45 a.m

I’ve started worrying about what to wear for first day back at school on monday . I wonder how much “natural” makeup I can get away with? Concealer? OK , Mascara? FINE . Ipa dye ko kaya yung mga eyelashes ko? Nakakaasar yung kilay ko. Parang kilay ni Betty La Fea. I may have to do some radical plucking if I can find Mamsy’s tweezers. Tinatago nya kasi yung mga gamit nya sakin , burara daw kasi ako .

12:00 noon

Prepared a light lunch of sandwich spread and milky coffee. There’s never anything to eat in this house. No wonder my elbows stick out so much.

2:00 p.m.

Found the tweezers eventually. Haha kala nya di ko makikita ah , sa lagayan nya pa ng knick knacks  nilagay .  

2:30 p.m.

God, it’s painful plucking. Kinailangan ko munang humiga sandali. The pain is awful—it’s made my eyes water like mad.

3:00 p.m.

I can’t bear this. Limang buhok pa lang yung nabubunot ko and my eyes are swollen to twice their normal size.

3:30 p.m.

Cracked it. I’ll use Dad’s razor.

Good thing nasa C.R lang nila yun.

4:05 p.m.

Oh God! Oh God ! Wala na kong kilay !! 

GLOSARRY ^ _ ^

BOOGER - kapag natuyo yung sipon yun na yun ,

BOMBS - hindi yung sumasabog ah , though pwede din kasi yung iba silicone yung laman.

BOOGER FIGHT - batuhan , punasan ng , alam mo na.

RED PAINTERS - yung dumadalaw once a month , yung .. errr .. yung , period ?? red painters kasi para syang red paint ? 

KNICK KNACKS - undies , brief , panty .