Thirty-one

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I hated that girl

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I hated that girl. The one you always saw on TV and in films who lost who she was over a boy or man. The one who got her heartbroken and just completely lost her shit due to it. The one who questioned if she were worth it all because some boy didn't love or want her back. I hated every ounce of that girl. Funny, for a second, that was me.

         I called up Tremaine and told him I was sorry for what I'd said in class and for abandoning him and how much I missed his crazy ass. Before I could get all mushy he'd immediately responded, "Fuck all that, we've got work to do on this romance angle. Do you think telling her I wanna put her in a wheel chair will have an effect?" To which I instantly shook my head and told him we'd meet up for dinner and discuss his idea of "romance."

Reality was a fact, and fact was I couldn't be DeAndre's friend when he pushed me away. I couldn't tell him I loved him because DeAndre would more than likely plug his ears and starting going la, la, la, la.

The last thing I wanted to do was be that girl any longer.

Halting all types of drama, I did what I hadn't done in forever. I hit Aunt Louise's dance studio and put in serious dance time, and it felt so freaking good. Nothing cleared my head more than dancing and giving my body over to the music and getting lost in an effortless routine. Before long, boy drama and love were a non-factor and I was busy being happy by myself for myself.

I didn't need a boy to feel good, and I didn't need a boy to feel loved. I loved myself and I had friends and family who loved me. Did I believe in love? I had to be honest, absolutely. And when it really came I'd accept it whole-heartedly, until then I was through with messing with the idea of entertaining boys who couldn't accept me. Cree Jacobs did not play that.

When I'd gotten ready to dance I'd taken off my watch, almost not paying attention to it. From a glance something caught my eye and I had to stop to see what it was.

On the back of the watch was an engraved message I'd yet to discover.


To Cree,

Because our time together has meant everything to me

DeAndre


Not wanting to dwell on the surprise message I'd overlooked for so long, I set the watch aside and quickly turned on my music and got lost.

By the time I got home Sunday evening I felt like skipping. Yes, it had been too long since I'd last danced.

My father was watching a movie in the den and I could hear Loraine in there with him, offering commentary. Some things didn't change, and this was one that I'd grown to love.

I was getting a glass of water from the fridge when Loraine stepped into the kitchen. She took in my appearance and offered a smile.

"Looks like you've been dancing, good," she said.

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