Chance from the U.S.

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    My name is ***** but you can call me Chance. Im 17 and I live in the U.S. a place many LGBTQ+ people have told me is one of the best places to live, with the right to marry and adopt with your significant other now legalized. But I live in a small redneck town who doesn't really encourage the concept of being different. My mother is an out of the closet lesbian with her girlfriend and is constantly criticized for it. I can't count how many times I've been 'removed' from a store because someone behind us decided it was right to call my mom a fairy, faggot, waste of air..

Growing up I was raised a Christian. I am a Christian and I know that seems people think we're all stuck up people who damn anyone to hell that doesn't match up with what we believe but that's not true. Yes, some of us are radical Christians. Yes, I know in the Bible it says being homosexual is an abomination but I believe and know that God loves all his children.

Ever since I was a child I was called weird, for the simple fact that I liked to hold boys and girls hands. I remember being told by my kindergarten teacher that girls weren't supposed to hold and kiss each other on the cheek, but I mean i was FIVE for Christ sake. I remember my first kiss being my childhood best friend Malee in first grade. I told my cousin in 3rd grade that I was gonna marry Malee when we were older. I guess I should have noticed the devil in her eyes then but I didn't and she took me to the backyard where she Proceeded to yell at me and tell me how disgusting and unnatural I was.. I never told anyone about it and I kept myself from thinking of girls..

In high school I found myself automatically befriending the outcasts my freshman year. I soon became good friends with Alexandra and Addi people who loved the LGBTQ+ community as much as I did. I never told anyone about my sexuality but everyone said I acted so gay. I was always kissing my friends cheeks and doing random things like that. Then Junior year I found out Alexandra and Addi were both bi as well as a few of my other friends. I would make jokes about how I would totally date them and stuff like that. They came up with the nickname 'Vertical Rainbow' Because I was the 'straightest gay person ever'!. I started to believe maybe it was okay to me out. So I have yet to come out to them but I make random jokes and remarks about coming out to my friend Alexandra's family in funny ways. Though I suspect that Addi and Alex know and I'm fine with that.

I've met a good group of people who were homophobic and I've found that as hard as it is to face them, once you've done it whether it's out of the closet or still hiding in it, you get a sense of relief of knowing that those people don't matter. My father isn't exactly homophobic but some of the things I've heard him say about the LGBTQ+ community have truly scared me out of ever telling him but I stood up for my friend when my dad found out Psalm was gay and now my Dad keeps his negative words away because he doesn't want to make me upset. Yes, they say can hurt but there are so many more positive things said about the LGBTQ community. And you never know standing up to them might make them see from a different perspective. But LGBTQ+ you have to see your much more than what you hear. Like the fact that you're brave! And colorful, and amazing!! Just the way you are.

So yes this may not be exactly like the other stories found in this book but it is mine. The bisexual girl hidden in the closet.

My name is Chance and this was my crappy writing about my story.. 


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