Daniel has been concerned with my change of mood. He's been patient with me. He tells me he wouldn't force me until I feel like telling him about what ever is bothering me.
God, I don't deserve him. I have so many things going on in my mind. So many bad endings.
It's funny how he is my rock. How, he's my strength. I'm so down lately, I feel like moving away to a far away place to think things over.
"Babe, please. I know I said I wouldn't force you. But I'm getting more worried with each passing day. Tell me, we'll solve it together."
"I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine."
"You are obviously not fine. But I'll wait," he assured before getting up.
I don't even tell him, I love you anymore. I say sorry instead.
"You know, no matter what I still love you, right?" He asked and I nod.
I hug him tightly and utter a simple sorry to him.
"Please stop saying sorry. You are giving me doubts. It's like you are telling me sorry because you have stopped loving me. If that is so, then tell me. I'll under...stand?" The last part sounded like a question.
"No, I...I...still love ...you. Don't ever doubt that," I re assured him. "You know I love you. More than my life."
"OK, let's go have lunch. I'm sure it will help release stress."
"I'm supposed to have lunch with Eunice."
He nods and walks me to the car. His driver is already waiting for me.
"I want to drive. I know how to drive. I'm tired of going and coming with a driver," I said calmly.
"There's no way I'm allowing you to drive. Now, get inside and let him drive you."
"Please let me go by myself. I am not Jennifer. I won't get into an accident. Please, I used to drive before I met you or before I became your fiancé. So please let me drive," I said with a tired mood.
He nods and opens the door for me.
"Thank you," I said cleaning the tears from my eyes.
"Please be careful," he said after a kiss.
I sit waiting for Eunice to come. I'm going to tell her. I need someone to talk to. Jennifer was her cousin and I know she'll hate me. I just need someone to talk to.
"Hey, sorry I'm late. Finally! You decide to talk to me!" She said with a smile.
Oh, only if you knew!
"Spit it out, dear. Stop keeping me in suspense."
"I'm the reason why Jennifer died" I spat the words out while cleaning my tears.
"What did you just say?" She asked, dread screaming on her face.
I tell her what Grace had told me days ago.
I am expecting her to scream at me. Insult me and beat me up.
Then I raise my head to meet hers.
"So why is it your fault? Listen Chloe, don't feel guilty. If that is what Jennifer wanted, then I trust she did right. She was going to die anyway and we couldn't do anything about it. I do love her, I still do but she's gone. Hating you wouldn't solve anything. Besides hating you means I'm hating her. It's her heart after all," she comforted while crying.
"I'm so sorry. I hope... Thank you."
"Don't worry little sister. I still love you. Please calm down, you'll let Daniel dig you. He'll search for whatever is bothering you. I know he's doing it already," she said to me.
"You ask I shouldn't tell him?" It comes as a question than a statement.
"He'll die when he hears his wife wasn't dead before she was taking out. He'll die when he hears that his wife was killed before her time. He'll..." She gets choked and both of us stare into each other's eyes, crying like babies.
"It's not your fault, trust me. But he wouldn't like to see you, if he hears this."
"Are you going to tell Elvis?" I asked nervously.
"Yes, I will. We'll only be able to help you if he also knows. Trust me, he won't tell Daniel. It will be our secret."
I nod at her.
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Sorry for the short update. I have been busy lately.
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