Long ass chapter!!
I decided that I would give life one last chance. Just one. One little chance.
- I really need to tell you something, it's really important please answer me.
- Leondre please answer I need help.
- I want to ask you a question, it's literally between life and death.
- Charlie, answer me now!
- Please it's important. I need to ask you a question.
- You guys left me no choice.. Remember I love you both, bye.
I had tried to send them both messages the whole day. But none of them answered. I want an explanation, if they meant to like the picture. If they meant to ignore me and most of all. If they meant to leave me.
I don't say that people would be happier without me, but they won't be sad. I'm like nothing. I don't matter to the world.
If I disappeared nothing would happen because I'm worthless and I don't mean anything to anyone.
I brushed my teeth and when I was done I was about to hop in the shower. But when I saw the blade on the floor.. You probably know what's happening right now.
One, two, three and four deep cuts on my arm.
1. Because I'm alone
2. Because no one likes me
3. Because I deserve it
4. Because the pain feels good on my arm
The blood streams down on the bathroom floor and dark red spots hits the ground. I probably cut too deep because I start to feel dizzy. I try my hardest to wipe the blood away and stop the bleeding so I won't pass out.
When I'm done I hop in the shower and wash away the blood.
It hurts so bad but I don't care. I don't care about anything anyone. I'm empty.
I go out of the shower and go to my bed. When I'm all done for sleep I go for a last check on social media and I wish I hadn't.
Of course it was a new rumour about me.
I checked the likes and I was hoping not to see their accounts again.
Thank god they hadn't liked the picture about the rumour that I had sex with the schools fuckboy last night.
Why would people even think that?
It's so stupid I would laugh, if I could.
Instagram: @ barsandmelody posted a new photo
Twitter: @ ceejaylenehan: heyy guys I hope you have a great day! Love u all<3
Oh my god I miss them so much. Why did they do this to me? I have to talk to them, today. Or I'll loose my grip and do something that I'll regret, like last night. I always regret doing the cuts when I wake up but in the moment it helps me forget.
I do my normal morning routine.
1. I go down and look for breakfast but then I remember not to eat breakfast because I'm fat.