So Soon - Josh Ramsay/Marianas Trench Fanfiction (Sequel to Porcelain)

7. I miss this.

Chapter 7

I laid in bed feeling depressed as fuck. I got out my phone.

'Can you tell the guys? I don't even think I can talk right now. -Porcelain'

'About last night....? -Josh'

'No stupid. About the stuff going on in my brain. -Porcelain'

'Yeah, for sure. Do you have your medication? -Josh'

'Yeah, but I'm fine, I just feel really shit. I'm not suicidal or anything. Don't worry. -Porcelain'

'I'm on my way. -Josh'

3 minutes later he knocked at the door.

"Come in!" Mike yelled from the bathroom. Josh burst throught the door and sat on the bed with me. I was rolled up in the blankets like a caterpillar.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked.

"Not really but yeah. I'm okay." I said. I tried to smile but I just couldn't do it.

"Is there anything at all I can do? I'll do it." Josh asked. Yeah, break up with Amanda and get back with me.

"No. Just tell them please." I felt tears start brimming my eyes. Josh nodded and went to find them all. He rounded them up and sat them down.

"You guys see Porcelain?" Josh pointed to me.

"Obviously." Ian said.

"Well she's having a bit of a hard time right now. Guys, she's bipolar." Josh said. They all looked past Josh and looked at me. I put my head in the blankets.

"Is this for real Caelyn?" Matt asked.

"I'm sorry." I started to cry. Josh came over and sat by me.

"Don't cry darling." Josh rubbed my back. That just made me cry more.

"GUYS WE HAVE TO LEAVE." Pasha shouted.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" Josh asked. I nodded. "Answer me when I call, okay?" He asked. I nodded once more and they all left. I sat in the room and bawled my eyes out. This fucking illness. My fucking brain. I hate it. All I want is not to feel shit and Josh back. Neither of those aren't happening. Fuck my life.

-

The day pasted and I felt a bit better.

"Will you stay with me tonight? I have a extra bed." Josh said as he played with my hair.

"You sure Amanda will like that?" I asked as I looked down.

"You know what! Fuck Amanda. We are filming a mother fucking music video for a massive ass song with my old girlfriend and fucking hell I'm going to enjoy it." Josh said. I smiled.

"That's my Josh." I chuckled and got up. "Just let me change." I said and let to the bathroom. I striped from my clothes that had been on me all day and changed into checkered pj shorts, a shorts bra, and a loose crop top that had tribal print on it. I walked back out.

"Lets go. I told the guys you were staying with me tonight." Josh said and we left. I laid in the spare bed across from him. Just to think that I used to have to cuddle up to him scared me. Scared that it would never happen again. "Were you okay staying alone today?" Josh asked.

I nodded. "Fine. I just kind of cried all day and was sad and stuff. Being bipolar sucks man." I said.

"Sorry." Josh said. My phone started to ring.

"Caelyn's Cellular Telular. How may I help you?" I asked knowing who was on the other side.

"Hey babe. How you doin?" Michael asked.

"Shit. I had a bit of a bipolar attack today. I'm staying with Josh tonight so I'm fine. I'm pretty okay now." I said.

"Good, so how's the Josh situation?" Michael asked. I chuckled.

"You know, ITYL." I said. ITYL stands for I'll tell you later for me and Michael.

"You didn't do the frick frack did you?" Michael asked.

"No you idiot. Goodnight Michael." I smiled.

"Sleep tight Cae." Michael said then hung up. Josh looked at me.

"I really did miss you when you left." Josh said. I smiled and rolled to my side.

"I missed you too. Way too much." I said.

"I cried for weeks." Josh said.

"I cut myself." I admitted. Josh gasped.

"Are you serious? Porcelain no." Josh said, he looked so sad and disappointed.

"I did it for 2 months and Raine found out, so yeah. I'm all clean now, I promise." I said.

"Good." Josh said. I yawned. "Are you tired?" Josh asked.

"For once yeah. Would you mind shutting off the lights?" I asked. He nodded and shut off the lamp.

-

I guess I wasn't that tired. It must've been a hour later.

"Josh." I whispered.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Would you mind if I crawled in with you?" I asked. Josh moved over.

"Come on over." He said. I came over and he slung his arm around me.

"Hey?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"I miss this." I admitted. Josh nodded.

"Me too." He agreed. We then drifted off to sleep.