warning: mentions of a car accident.
CHAPTER SEVEN
BEING blind for changkyun felt like his other senses were amplified.
ever since the day of the incident, it was as if his hearing was improved- he had superpowers. okay, not quite, but it did become better, even in the very slightest. sometimes at night, changkyun found it hard to sleep. he didn't realize how loud the world could be; it was like every car wheel running over gravel, every conversation his neighbours had, were turned up on the highest volume.
he was glad nayoung suggested that he should go with her to her skating practices, even if he knew deep down inside the girl was only asking out of guilt. maybe not all guilt.
tapping his fingers against the plastic seat next to himself, he nodded his head along to the song. he remembered nayoung saying she needed to work on her routine before the competition, which was in three days. it saddened changkyun because he missed seeing her, yet that still didn't stop him from going to support her, although it never really felt the same.
he could vividly hear how the blades of her skates impacted with the ice. something inside of changkyun felt like it was shattering.
his legs and feet started to sting with a sharp pain. he worried they'd break all over again. it was a silly phobia - being afraid to walk or even stand - but sometimes the feeling would just come crashing down on him out of nowhere. for awhile, it was so erratic, changkyun could barely stand up, even when he didn't need the wheelchair anymore, even when the doctor gave him the all clear. he used to fall down to his knees some days, crying, saying how he didn't feel like himself.
the therapist said he'd recover. that he was lucky he survived the accident.
changkyun didn't feel lucky.
he wished he died that day. he thought the world would've been better off without a burden like him. it took a long, long time for him to get remotely better, even though changkyun still struggled.
being blind didn't take the awful memories of that night away. he'd always wake up, confused and horrified, thinking he was still laying amoungst the shards of glass on the bonnet of the car, with both of his legs broken. changkyun could still see the flashes of blue and red lights, beaming all around him. everyone told him he was only hallucinating it because he would've already lost his sight by the time the ambulance arrived at the scene.
he needed to believe he saw something, that there really could've been a chance for him to see again.
those dreams were destroyed a long time ago.
changkyun stopped tapping his fingers on the seat, listening intently on nayoung's skating, disregarding how it felt like his own legs were slowly breaking.
people would always tell him, think happy things. so, changkyun tried. his mind moved aimlessly from ice skating, to how nayoung never stopped treating him like his old self, all the way to kihyun. kihyun. the boy didn't behave differently towards him- unless, being extra strange counted, but he kind of figured the other was just prone to being awkward. the point was, kihyun didn't give up on changkyun. he stayed.
making an effort to distract his thoughts from that night worked. only for about three minutes.
he heard a dull thud, followed by a cry of distress over the music. immediately, changkyun stood up, frantically walking over to the railing.
"nayoung!"
"i'm okay, changkyun," nayoung's voice trembled. he could tell she was crying but the girl didn't want to panic him. "i-it's fine. i'm fine. just get kihyun, okay?"
"you're hurt," he muttered, fingers searching for the handle on the door.
"changkyun, stop, just get kihyun. don't come on the ice."
he dropped his hand, turning around to climb up the stairs. fingertips hit the top of the seats as he was trying to feel for his way. changkyun stumbled up a few steps, fear pulsing through his veins.
somehow, changkyun blamed himself for what happened. he brushed his pathetic fears onto nayoung, and that was why the girl was now laying on the ice in pain- all because of himself. something inside was telling him it wasn't his fault, but he couldn't believe those words. his mind was running wild. he could barely walk; terrified his own feet might turn into fragile glass any minute and crack under pressure.
reaching the top, he held out his hands, coming into contact with a wall. he could hear the radio playing from the counter.
"kihyun?" he called out, still moving his feet over the floor.
the sound turned down, changkyun assumed the boy heard him, so he called out his name one more time.
"changkyun, i'm here," kihyun grabbed his hands, so softly. "what's going on?"
"nayoung's hurt," he didn't want to cry in front of kihyun, but when the boy put his arms around him, he allowed the tears to fall, knowing he was safe. "she slipped on the ice."
"should i call an ambulance?"
when the paramedics arrived, they put nayoung in the vehicle. changkyun couldn't bring himself to step anywhere near the ambulance, nayoung understood why, so she asked kihyun if he could take him to the hospital instead. the boy complied, holding changkyun's shaky hand as he guided him to his car.
kihyun would ask if changkyun was okay, reaching over to take his hand in his own for a second before he'd release it, to which the other could only nod in response.
they soon arrived at the hospital nayoung was staying at. kihyun didn't leave changkyun's side until the girl's and his own parents' showed up. it didn't take long for that to happen, but changkyun wanted the other to stay with him for longer. it would be a bit selfish, though, so when kihyun gently placed his hand on his shoulder, saying a goodbye, he let him go.
and when changkyun felt like he couldn't breath in that hospital room, all he had to do was think about something that made him feel happy:
kihyun.
