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Jack: Saturday, 6 August
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I felt incredibly uncomfortable for the next week, I would have nightmare in which I had the same thing happening over and over and then I remembered, it was real. It wasn't a dream at all. 

When I was working by myself I found that it was lucky to cry, because sometimes I was just to numb to do anything of the sorts. I never told anyone, no matter how much they asked. And I knew tomorrow I would have to go see Felix again. 

Then some guests came over to the house, and I felt myself feel faint when I saw Felix, walking around smiling. He saw me and looked me up and down. I held myself as he walked over to me. "Tomorrow, right?"

"Yes sir." I muttered and he walked over to Mark who was cautiously looking at me. I headed outside immediately and found myself wanting to get back in the shower and scrub myself all over again. I felt filthy and I couldn't stop the tears from running down my face as I sat and cried.

"Sean? You out here?" I heard Mark's voice and he walked down the steps to see me sitting against the house. "You're crying.." He sat down and when he touched my arm I immediately moved away in a hurry. "Whoa. Jack?"

"I-I'm sorry I'll get back to -"

"No you won't, sit down." Mark said and he grabbed my wrist, I flailed away.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted. "Please, I-I, please don't touch me.." 

"Jack, what happened?" Mark asked as I relaxed in the grass. "It has something to do with Felix, doesn't it?"

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "If I tell you, don't tell anyone." 

"I swear, I won't." Mark said and offered a smile.

"That's where I was, with him." I said. "I-I didn't know it and he.. We.."

"What happened?" Mark asked.

"We had sex." I admitted and Mark looked a little stunned.

"Then what's the problem?" Mark asked. I said nothing for a moment and he continued. "Was it bad?" Well yeah, it was, but I didn't say anything. "Uh, did you want to?" It was at first hardly noticeable when I shook my head, but I made sure I did it enough for Mark to notice. "What? You didn't? Did you tell him?" I nodded. "Oh my god." 

"Don't tell anyone, please don't." I said as I turned to him, panic written clear across my face and shock displayed on Mark's.

"Jack, this is crazy serious." Mark said. "You know what this means, don't you?" I nodded my head. "You're not going to tell anyone?" I shook my head. "Why not?"

"I-I don't know, I'm afraid." I muttered. "There's no evidence that he did it either. And who would believe me?"

"I believe you." Mark said. "I talked to Felix the day where you were gone, and he didn't seem too worried. In fact he seemed very dead set on the fact that you would be back that day." I didn't say anything, but Mark never once turned his attention away from me despite my quiet and unresponsive behavior. "I'm so sorry, Jack." I shrugged. "How do you feel?"

How do I feel? That's a stupid question. "I feel gross, like I'm constantly dirty. And I don't want, I don't want to have to do it again." 

"What? Do it again? What are you talking about?" Mark asked and there was a slight edge of panic to his voice that made me worry. "Oh god, don't tell me you have to go back." I nodded slowly. "Jack, no you don't. There's no reason for you to put yourself in that position. Nothing is ever going to be worth it. When are you supposed to go?"

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