Chapter 6 - Clumsy

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a/n: Hello, gorgeous people <3 I'd like to thank the awesome Yobshabob for being my beta on this chapter. <3 It was a mess until she helped me with it. Thank you, thank you, thank you! xxx

Sang

I'm a bad person. Want to know why? Could you wait for a second? I need to hide behind something to tell you. Wouldn't want Jefferson to overhear. He already has too many reasons to laugh at me. Ok. Here we go. I stole one of North's posters. Yep! The one where he's practically naked! Not that I think he made other posters of himself. I heard he was going to burn them all! Come on! You would've done the same! Do you... Do you think I'll go to hell for this? Nah! Pfffft! Ha! I'm being ridiculous. It's not like we can see something we're not supposed to! No harm done! I'll just roll it up and keep it for posterity. Stop calling me a creeper! I'm not! If I was, I would've taken a picture of it to keep on my phone. Lacy almost did when she saw the poster. If it wasn't because of Jefferson, she would've totally done it, but he told her that he would pose for her so no need for her to have a picture of a picture of another dude. His words, not mine. I just hope that I will never see that picture on her phone and I made Jeff promise to 'pose' somewhere other than the lobby. There are children living in this building! Uh, no, but still! I'm here and I refuse to see him in his underwear!

So anyway, the lobby. That's where I am. Again. Don't have much choice if I want to reach my apartment. I'm having some trouble getting up there, though, because Lacy keeps bugging me with tons of texts so I'm stopping every couple of feet to check my phone. She's not 'bugging' me per se... Her texts are very frequent, that's all. And obviously, I can't ignore her. She's my best friend. She's more of a sister than Marie ever was to me. We lived together all of our childhood, but we never had anything in common. I gave up trying to bond with her when I realized she simply did not care.

I can't blame Lacy for her numerous texts. She started dating Jefferson a couple of days ago and she's in luuuuurv... Kidding, but she's quite smitten. Him too. Look at him behind the counter. Not like that! You're being too obvious! Haven't you heard about peripheral vision before? Yeah, like that. Do you see it? That big smile on his face? He looks like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. It's almost scary.

Looking back at my phone, I close my eyes right after she says she wants to show me something nice. Please don't show me half-naked Jeff! Please don't show me your picture of Jefferson half-na-...

" Ouch! "

What just happened? Didn't you see? Another not so wonderful moment in my life. An awful one. The kind of moment you want to bury so that no one will ever remember it. It doesn't even help to know that the guy is as clumsy and uncoordinated as I am. Let's just rewind because even though it lasted only a couple of minutes, he and I will probably remember it our whole life. Ok, I'm exaggerating a tiny bit. Maybe I'll have Alzheimer's when I'm 80 or something and this particular moment will be completely wiped out of my mind.

My eyes were closed and I had my phone in one hand. That guy came from nowhere. No, actually, he came from somewhere in front of me. The elevator doors, I suppose. Wait a minute! I was walking with my eyes closed! I'm the one who ran into him I guess. The problem is that I um... kneed him by accident? See, when we fell, my knee connected with his er... baby-maker. Hey! Don't laugh. Lacy would've said boomstick. But that's not all! After that, while I was falling with my arms flailing all around like a crazy person, my phone flew out of my hand and crashed to the floor. The guy tried to help me but his effort to reach around my back with his hands failed miserably when I knocked his family jewels. The poor grabby hands ended on my boobs. Both of us horrified and surprised, he fell on me and barely managed to protect my head so I wouldn't end up with a concussion.

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