Chapter Sixteen: I think I love him

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Hi.

Ok so we have got to the point in the story where what you read at the start before the month later is at the end of this chapter. This story is coming to a slow end. Only 8 chapters remain so enjoy each chapter as it comes along as it will soon finish.

I just want to take this time to say thank you for reading this all the support i get on this means so much. Votes and comments bright up my day so thank you so much.

I hope you enjoy the chapter guys

Love you all xxxx

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After what Colin told me at the hospital I avoided looking at him, talking to him and basically ignoring him but do you blame me? Do you blame me after what he had said to me? I don’t know what to think or do about it.

Maybe it’s better this way considering I still don’t know if I am gay or not. I have a feeling I am gay but I can’t be sure can I? This is just too hard to think about right now. I just don’t know and if I am gay how do I begin to consider telling anyone. The worse part about all of this is the fact that when Colin had said he made a mistake it felt like he had ripped my heart out. As much as this may sound stupid I think I may love Colin.

I don’t know why but whenever I am near him I feel something I’ve never felt before, something really special and want to feel that again with Colin but I have no chance do I. He likes my sister that kiss with me was a mistake and that’s it, no more discussions the end.

It’s been three days since he told me he made a mistake. It’s now Saturday morning and I’m still lying in bed. I don’t feel like doing anything lately. I have to stay in any way as my mum and dad need to go shopping and it would be best to allow Madison and Zack to stay indoors.

It’s also been three days since my new brother and sister came into the world. I’ve been spending most of my time ignoring Colin, going to school and looking after and playing with my brother and sister. I feel likes it my responsibility to keep them safe and be a big brother if you know what I mean.

It helps me to keep myself busy so my thoughts don’t go of thinking about Colin too often. Lying in my bed like this has swung me into thinking about Colin, I knew it would but still I lay here like a complete fool.

“Arrow,” I heard my mum calling. If you haven’t already caught on my mum is back home now too safe and sound. I guess my family life is getting back together at least but Colin living here puts a massive dent in that, considering I can’t even look at him in the eye now without wanting to either hit him, kiss him or burst out crying.

“Yeah mum,” I called back to her.

“You’re father and I are going out now can you make sure to keep checking on Madison and Zack. If they wake up you know what to do,” she called. I waited until I heard the front door slam before I dragged myself out of my bed and out into the corridor. I heard silence throughout the house.

My sister and Colin have gone out for the day. At least I have one thing to be grateful for I suppose. I headed downstairs suddenly feeling very hungry as my stomach grumbled at me. I went into the kitchen to try and find something to eat but I heard a strange noise. I went out into the front room to realise someone was banging on the door. Who could that be?

I rushed over to the front door and pulled it open to reveal Trish. “Oh Trish what are you doing here?” I asked her.

“To find out the truth,” she said annoyed.

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

“I can tell Arrow just by the way you look at me. You don’t like me in the same way I like you. I know you like me but not as strong as you should. You looked happy to leave when you got that phone call from your dad I saw it in your eyes. I don’t want this to continue this way. I’m thinking if you can’t commit to this relationship we should break up,” said Trish.

I looked at her shocked. “I...” I paused trying to think what to say.

“I’m not going to bite your head off or beat you or anything. I don’t feel what I thought we had either. I don’t think we are right for each other Arrow as much as I really like you,” she said to me.

“I’m sorry I never said anything I didn’t want to hurt you,” I began.

“Arrow its fine I understand. It was nice though while it lasted,” smiled Trish and I nodded. Trish kissed me on the cheek before she left my house. I closed the door after I saw her walk down the road. I just broke up with Trish...and I haven’t hurt her or anything.

I still can’t help but now feel suddenly even more alone. Maybe I can get something to eat now I’m starving.

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It’s strange how in less than two days everything can change. I never thought I would tell anyone about my feelings no one but if I would consider anyone I would tell Caz. It’s because I just feel that little bit more close to her and I feel like she would be the only one to understand me.

“Arrow what seems to be bothering you? You have been lost in thought for days and as much as I try and believe its Trish breaking up with you I know it’s something more than that,” she said to me.

“Caz you wouldn’t understand,” I tried to explain.

“Arrow just tell me. I’m sure to surprise you,” laughed Caz.

“Its Colin,” I began to say.

“What about him?” asked Caz.

“I think I love him,” I said as I looked down at my feet.

“You love Colin?” asked my best friend Caz as she put both her hands onto my face making me look directly into her blue eyes.

I nodded my head not wanting to answer her question with speech; I didn’t trust myself right now.

Caz brought me into a hug and whispered, “I think you would make a great couple, I really do.  I still love you Arrow and always will. I’m your best friend and I accept you.”

“Thanks but I don’t know,” I began.

“Don’t know what?” she asked.

“I don’t know if I am gay or not,” I said quietly.

“Oh, Arrow don’t worry you will,” she smiled.

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