circus freak // joshler

old times sake

it was really funny to look back at all my old diary entries from almost a decade ago. it was 2004 now i'm almost sixteen, so seeing the old photos and journals i left behind over the years was really nostalgic.

as i sat there crisscrossed on my attic floor, i found two diary entries that seemed to have been ripped out of my journal and shoved into the bottom of the box. i took a closer look at them, and my thoughts started getting replaced with questions.

when i was seven and nine my parents had taken my siblings and i to the annual circus that came into town. and from what i could vaguely remember, the memories there weren't always pleasant when it came time for the show.

i started wondering if things had changed since the last time i went to the circus, so i decided to test out that theory, for old times' sake.

both entries were dated the same month and day, and out of sheer coincidence, the circus was only two days away from arriving to town. that's when i dropped all the photos and ran back downstairs.

i bumped into my younger sister ashley who was already on her way to her room. out of breath, i greeted her, "hey ashy," i heavily exhaled, "i have a question."

she looked puzzled, but still cracked a smile at my inability to run down stairs, "uh... sure," she looked at me, "what's up?"

i composed myself before standing back up from being hunched over to face, "s'you know how like-- maybe nine years ago or something, mom and dad took us to a circus?" i questioned her.

ashley paused for a few seconds but slowly nodded, "yeah, i think so. why?" she wondered. "well i was curious t'know if you wanted to maybe-like-- go see the circus again?"

she scoffed, "josh if you haven't noticed, we aren't nine anymore." she semi-joked, i playfully rolled my eyes at her, "okay yeah i know that," i explained, "but still-- wouldn't it be fun to just relive childhood memories?" she thought about it for a second, a smirk then appearing on her fourteen year old face,

"what's in it for me?" ashley quizzed. i sighed, shaking my head, "okay i'll buy you cotton candy." i bargained, she hummed in thought for a while, but gave in eventually, "alright, i'm sold." she agreed.

and with that, i was awaiting for the day to come when i could relive my childhood memories, and finally see what that clown was up to, if he was even still doing the whole circus thing, or to see if he's okay from the last time i could remember seeing him.