10 Things To Do Before I Die

What Should I Do

"Pa i dont need those."i hissed.

"Look at yourself,you look wasted.And im worried about you for crying at loud." my father is really angry,he also raise his voice to me.

"Pa look, Im okay. So please dont worry. Whats the use of taking those medicine if I will be die soon." i retorted.

"Please baby,do this for me. Akala mo ba hindi ako nahihirapan sa kalagayan mo ngayon?Kung gano kahirap sayo,doble ang balik sakin.

I want you to be strong inspite of everything.So please baby take good care of yourself." i gasped,as i saw my father crying infront of me.Oh my God. I dont want to see him crying coz thats one of my weeknesses but what am i doing right now. I really hate myself for doing such stupidity.

"Pa Im Sorry.I dont know that your feeling that way. I promise i will take care of myself.So please stop crying." i get up from the. bed and hug him. I couldn't help but cry, I love my father that i couldn't afford to leave him. His the only one that left in me. How i wish that i was dreaming, that i dont have leukemia, that i could stay longer without a fucking due date.

"Baby please bear this in mind.Whatever happens just be strong coz everything happens for a reason."

"Pa what are you saying, Im the one who supposed to say that to you."

In just a snap, i heard my father laugh.

"Wag mo na akong pansinin,nagpapakatatay lang ako.Hahaha.By the way have some rest.Papadala ko na lang kay Yannie yung mga gamot mo."

Tumango na lang ako,he kiss me in my forehead then went outside my room.

Haist, life is so unfair.Bakit ako pa?bakit hindi na lang yung iba? I tried to ask that to myself a million times but until now i couldn't find the answer.

...everything happens for a reason....

Maybe theres a reason,why God gave me this kind of sickness. Bahala na,Sana nga may rason ang lahat ng ito.

~~~~

"Maam may tawag po kayo." i saw. Yannie walking towards me and handed me the telephone. Nandidito ako ngayon sa terrace mga alas tres na rin ng hapon.Medyo umayos ayos na ang pakiramdam ko,effective yung binigay ni Papa na gamot.

I answered the phone."Hello."

"Maam its me Sam."

"Oh.Whats the matter?"

"Ahm Maam we have a big problem."

Kumunot naman bigla ang noo ko sa sinabi ni Sam."What is it?"i asked nervously, i sense that there something happen.

"Maam its about the Pampanga's incident. May nagrarally daw po sa harap ng opisina natin don.And they have many complains and conditions."Kinakabahang sabi ni Sam.

Akala ko ba tapos na tong issue na to bat ngayon parang mas lumalala pa. I know that Im such stupid for making a decision lately but hindi ko naman lubos maisip na darating sa point na to.

"Just give them what they want."i said while massaging my temple. Hindi pa ako masyadong nakaget over sa problema ni Ji-An,dumagdag pa to.

"Maam but isa po sa mga kondisyon nila ay ang makaharap ang may-ari."

And that hits me,hindi pwedeng malaman ni Papa ang tungkol dito.Ayoko mag-alala sya,ayokong dagdagan ang pasanin nya.

"Ok. Manage my schedule tomorrow,Im going to Pampanga."