Reviving Her

Chapter 30 : Anchor

Come tempestuous one, and let me
calm the storm in your eyes.
  Even though we set sail on
  a sea of treacherous tides,
     You are the anchor that
     quiets my soul.
                       - Ariana
          _________________________________________________________________

I am sprawled on the couch my phone balanced on my chest as I mindlessly respond to Eliza's texts. She texts excitedly about an upcoming party and I respond occasionally. I stop and look up when Maaz sits on the adjacent couch. His uneasy expression makes me put my phone away.

He laces his fingers together in front of him and stares at his feet. He runs his hand through his hair, looks up at me, exhales and then looks at his feet again. Since I had become sick, Maaz has been strange around me. I feel he is holding back something from me. Not that he tells me everything, but that he wants to tell me something and yet he doesn't.

'Zara?' He says after what seems like eternity.

'Yes?' I play along.

'I need you to apply for a name change.' He says in a single breath, finally looking at me.

'My name?' I say aloud. This was totally unexpected. My name, Zara Numair, the one thing I had refused to give up when I had gotten married to him. As always, my mind clouds over when it comes to him. My eyes flutter close, I see his soft hair curling over the curves of his ears, eyes crinkled in amusement always dancing with happiness. Or maybe it was only when he was looking at me, I wonder. Numair.

Maaz is silent, his fingers flip a pencil over his knuckles from one corner to the other.

'Why would I do that?' I say almost to myself, 'Why would I give up one more thing that binds me to him?'

He shifts to me, kneels down in front of me, clasping my hands in his, the pencil now abandoned. 'Because you are my wife now. And perhaps our relation is only as such on papers but still don't you think it is strange for my wife to have another man's name?'

'Don't use the words my wife again.' I say, my teeth gritted. My head spins, I snatch my hands from his grasp. He bows his head not quite looking at me.

'You said it didn't matter two months ago, when we got married. What has changed now?' I push him away as I stand up from the couch and his knees give way and he sits on the rug, not raising his head. His hair fall over his forehead, his shoulders are taut.

'Nothing... everything.' He mumbles softly.

I grab my car keys, a lesson learnt from the last time I had stalked out in anger.

'Learn to stick to your words.' I snap at him.

'This isn't about me as much as it is about you.' These are the last words I hear him say softly, as I slam the front door ending the conversation.

I send Eliza a text that I'm coming over, telling her that I'm excited about the party and want to hear all about it from her in person. The front door remains shut as I pull my car out of the driveway. I find another new car blocking mine from behind.

'That is Harry's car. I've got the keys, I'll pull it out for you.' Henry pops up from behind the shed.

I drive around aimlessly, the wheels eating away the distance, the windows pulled down to let air inside. I keep going straight at every signal until the road ends at a bend and I have no option but to take a left turn. The air cools me down and I begin to think right. What have I done? Was walking out really necessary? Couldn't I be less dramatic and sit down  and talk like the supposed mature adult I'm supposed to be?