It's Never Easy {Detz}

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Requested by @ReadingWritingMyLife

I'm doing a gif inspired thing because shit do they inspire me.


  How do you love someone who won't come to hold you close.

  How do you love someone who smiles when you're not around.

  How do you love someone who is nothing like you.

  I'm not the only one who has struggled with this. I may be the only elf, but I'm not the only person.

  Fucking hell, the resent burned in my throat when I saw him talking to her. I wanted to cry but it just felt like a coal was shoved into my esophagus and wouldn't move. It just grew bigger and bigger until I willed myself to walk away and wallow in self pity.

  I didn't hate Sophie. I didn't hate her at all. I loved my adopted cousin with all of my heart and soul. It was him I hated.

  Fitzroy Avery Vacker.

  Isn't it ironic that the first person you learned to hate ends the first person who you learned to love? More than anticipated?

  I hate the way he makes me love him.

  No elf has ever been plagued with such thoughts. The thoughts of..homosexuality. How was I supposed to live with it? I had nobody to turn to. Nobody to help me feel like it was completely normal.

  I felt out of place. My skin burned with every thought of Fitz. I loved him. God, love is a pain in the ass.

  Homosexuality is that unique spice that they put in foods and you don't know about it until you read the ingredients.

  I am the food.

  Fitz is that long list of ingredients.

  "Dex?" A crisp voice questioned. My blurred vision cleared and I locked gazes with teal eyes of a god.


  "Uhm..Yeah?" I mustered out, not wanting to stutter.  He offered me a small smile before pointing at the gadget in my hand.

  I wasn't entirely sure about what it was. It looked like a puzzle but also like a remote control. That had no definite shape.

  My pale cheeks flushed before I moved the device in my hand."I'm not sure what it is."I admitted in a quiet voice, looking off in the distance.

  Fitz laughed and took a seat infront of me. He reached over and took the item out of my hand. Our fingertips brushed together for a millisecond but to me it meant a million years.

  He began to fiddle with it, eyes trained on the object. I nervously ran a hand through my strawberry blonde hair before nibbling at my nails, shivering in fear.

  "How do you not know what it is, Dex? You were just staring off into oblivion, disassembling then reassembling it about 14 times." He persisted, tilting his head up.

  I huffed. Telepaths. Wonderboy sure was persistent, I'll give him that.

  I gazed down at my hands."Maybe it's a Technopath thing..."I trailed off, not having the energy to go into detail on my irrelevant theory.

  "You've been avoiding me."

  I looked up, surprised by the sudden remark. I didn't think I was avoiding him. Fitz and I rarely spoke, what exactly did he consider avoiding?


  I really couldn't say anything else.

  If I did avoid Fitz without realizing it, then it must've been because I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

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