Living Like This

Seventeen

Cas was waiting when Dean showed up the next morning. As soon as Dean opened the door Cas' hands tightened, causing a tiny needle of pain to shoot up his arm.

"Hey Cas," Dean said.

"I've made my choice," Cas said without a greeting, tears glistening in his eyes as he watched Dean's face.

"You have? What... what did you choose?" Dean asked. The mixture of hope and fear in his eyes twisted Cas' heart. This was his last chance to change his mind... but no. He wouldn't. His tears finally spilled down his face as he spoke.

"I'm... I'm going with you," he said. He felt the weight of his betrayal crash down on him and he broke down completely. He felt Dean's arms wrap around him and he grabbed the front of Dean's shirt, sobbing. "H-How can I duh-duh-do this? How can I l-l-leave Aaron af-ter everything?" Cas sobbed. Dean rubbed his hand up and down Cas' back.

"It's okay, Cas. It'll be okay," he murmured into Cas' ear.

It took Cas several minutes to calm down. When he did, Dean let him go.

"I'll get your things," Dean said, walking around to the other side of the hospital bed. Cas nodded.

"Thank you, Dean. I'm sorry I'm being so weak," Cas said. Dean wheeled around.

"Weak? Cas, you're not weak. None of what you're doing is weak. Leaving this bastard is the strongest choice you could make. I'm proud of you," Dean said, taking Cas' hand. Cas gave a small smile.

"Thank you," he whispered. Dean nodded and let Cas' hand go to get Cas' box.

***

When they got to Dean's house, Cas was eager to see Ginger again. As soon as she showed up he crouched down and started petting her. Dean put Cas' box on the table.

"Your room is just there, I'm down the hall. The kitchen is right through that door," Dean said, gesturing at the doors and halls as he named them. Cas nodded.

"Thank you. We- we'll need to find a time to get my things," Cas said.

"Are you sure you want to go back there?" Dean asked.

"Of course. I can't ask you to replace it all," Cas said.

"Then we'll go when he's at work," Dean said.

"No Dean, that seems cowardly," Cas said.

"We're not arguing this, Cas. It's for your own safety," Dean said.

"Fine," Cas relented. "But Dean, we have to talk."

"Sure, about what?"

"You said you love me."