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Chapter 15.

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Niall at four weeks pregnant.

I have started to put Niall on a strict diet. By giving him lots of protein and dairy and as less fat as possible- although I have caught him snuggling chocolate from the fridge for midnight snacks when I go to the bathroom. But I don't mind. Really.

Dr Baxter has suggested that I keep a regular diary of what's going on with Niall, basically. She said it would help us keep a track of things, a track of Niall and the foetus. She always said it would help dealing with how I feel. To be honest, I don't know how I feel. I'm angry, I know that much. Niall is leaving me. He chose to leave me, forever. He'd rather die and risk his life for something he might not even get to live for.

I don't want to say much to him. I don't want him to worry as it's not good for him, but...what do I do? I feel completely helpless. There's no use talking to him about it, because he'll never listen. I just can't bear the thought of losing Niall. I finally got the person I love back with me, and I'm losing him all ready? What did I do to deserve this?

Nialls body has started to change drastically and Dr Baxter is keeping a "close eye on him". I don't mean that he's showing, it's too early for that. But with the fainting and the sickness...I just don't know. It's scary. It's scary watching Niall fall before my eyes, wondering if he's not going to wake up this time. The drugs...they're already taking over his life.

Liam quickly put his pen down, before he sunk into depression. He couldn't think these thoughts, they were dangerous and didn't do much good for him and Niall. Liam was just thankful that Niall had no clue about this diary. Liam was stunned that Dr Baxter had suggested to keep it a secret. Liam had never kept a secret from Niall, ever. But come to think of it, Liam understood where Dr Baxter was going. Did that make Liam a bad person? Because he was lying to Niall?

Liam exhaled deeply, slipping the "diary" in his underwear drawer before heading downstairs. Niall was asleep, curled up on the sofa. That's all he really did now. Sleep. Liam was making it his mission for Niall to be out and about, taking long walks. Apparently that's meant to help. He sat at the other end of the couch, next to Nialls feet. He rested his elbow against the arm rest, stroking his stubble, lost in thought when Niall started to stir, his sleepy eyes slowly fluttering open as he stared up at Liam.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Liam apologised quickly but Niall shook his head, smiling a little as he edged closer to Liam, wrapping his arm through his and resting his head against his shoulder. "Y'know I was thinking maybe we should start going for long walks? We could take Loki with us." Liam suggested warily, his cheek against Nialls head.

Loki was currently lying on the rug, looking up at Niall and Liam with an eager look. "Yeah, that sounds good." Niall beamed, heading over to grab his jacket. "What, now?" Liam asked, stunned and Loki rested his head on Liam's lap before following after Niall. "Why not? We're not exactly doing anything, interesting are we?" Niall reasoned and Liam shrugged, grabbing Loki's lead and his jacket, following after his husband.

They took the road up the high street, past the row of shops and restauraunts. Niall was finally getting tired when they reached the top of a hill, where picnic benches sat and he sat down on one of them. Loki was happily bouncing after them, gnawing at a chew toy Liam had brought along with them. Liam paced himself in front of Niall, back and forth as he kept an eye on Loki. "Do you remember this place?" Liam asked Niall suddenly and Niall looked up, confused. Liam smiled a little. "This is where I took you when we first got together, remember? When I taught you how to ride the motorbike?" Liam pressed and Niall's eyes widened in recognition. "No kidding?" Niall asked and Liam grinned, when Niall came to join him.

"It hasn't changed a bit." Niall admitted and Liam couldn't help but agreeing. "The only part of my life that hasn't." Niall sighed sadly, sitting on top of the table and putting his feet up on the benches. Liam's smile faded as he went to join Niall on the table. "I completely forgot about this place. I always thought of it as our own, romantic get away. From everything else." Niall continued and Liam smiled again. "It was."

"Remember when we got ice creams and the truck that drove by soaked us with that big puddle?" Liam laughed and Niall joined in. "Yeah, and you through your ice cream at the truck." Niall smirked and Liam chuckled. "Good times." Liam sighed, when Loki came bounding toward them again. "Sometimes I wish it could be as simple as that again." Niall admitted as Liam tossed the toy for Loki. Liam cocked an eyebrow, looking at Niall. "Sometimes I wished I hadn't signed that contract, and we didn't have to go through what we did. Maybe then we could go through life without any hassle." Niall suggested sadly and Liam bit his lip.

"That's why I brought you here, Niall. To Wolverampton. It's quiet, remote. I mean, if you think about it, if we were back in London, it'd just be hectic." Liam shrugged and Niall couldn't help but agree. "We have nothing to bother us." Liam sighed and Niall smirked. "Except these little ones." Niall chuckled, pressing his palms against his flat stomach. Liam chuckled, staring down at his hands. "Yep."

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, watching Loki play happily in the field when Liam's phone sounded in his pocket. Liam groaned, switching his alarm right off as quick as he could but Niall knew what it was for before Liam could say anything. "Drug time?" Niall guessed warily and Liam nodded pityingly. Niall sighed miserably, grabbing Loki's lead and they headed off back home. When they arrived home, Liam began making the dinner - lasagne. "Ni? Remember we've got that appointment tomorrow, with Dr Baxter." Liam called to Niall, who was in the living room. "Yeah, got it!" Niall called back and they joined each other for dinner, dining for two.


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