What's Wrong? | S.M. & Magcon

Chapter 26

People are losing interest in my story.. What am I doing wrong? Tell me and help me out.

On with the story! (Remember I warned you beforehand!)

Cameron's P.O.V.
I run out the room knowing what he's going to do. It's the most realistic thing I can think of right now.

I was right. I find Shawn exactly where I thought he was. He hasn't done anything yet. The tears are running down his cheeks. I stand there in the doorway with a shocked look. It's what I can see of myself in the mirror. I look Shawn in the eyes through the mirror. He keeps his back facing me.

"Why?" I ask him. He shrugs. "Why?" I ask again. I fall in repeat a lot. I want to laugh at my own thoughts, but I can't. Not now, not here and definitely not in this situation.

Shawn shrugs again.

I walk up to him until I'm standing right behind him. "If you do it, does it mean I can do it?" I ask him holding out my hand. His facial expression changes to looking at me like I'm a madman. "Excuse me?" He asks me with a hoarse voice. "Can I use the blade?" I ask him.

I'm very calm through all of this. I never knew I was capable of doing this.

He shakes his head. "N-No of course not." He stutters. "Why not? Give me one good reason why I can't hurt myself." I order him.

He looks at me like I'm crazy. "Because you don't want to go down that road." He says. "Why did you?" I ask him. He hesitates with answering, his lips form the words he wants to spill, but nothing leaves his mouth. He shrugs.

"Think Shawn! Answer me!" I yell at him. Shawn jumps from my outburst and I calm myself down after it. I go back to the calm boy I was before that.

"I don't know. It was too much. I never wanted it. I never wanted to start it, let alone keep doing it. I feel so guilty after each time and it just hurts even more." He spills. He is talking fast. His cries get worse. He is scared of me.

Shawn turns back to the mirror and leans on the counter with both hands. He squeezes his fist that is holding the blade. Blood drops seep through his fingers. He's cutting his hand. His face tells me that he doesn't notice it. He's so numb that he can't feel the pain of the little cuts he might be making on his palm right now.

I quickly grab his hand and hold it. I don't care if I get blood on my body or clothes. Shawn is more important.

I roll up my sleeve and hold my arm in front of him

"Here. Use this." I tell him strictly. He looks up at me. "No." He says. "Then don't do it. You use my arm, or you don't cut at all." His cries calm down, but the tears keep running.

"You are crazy." He tells me. "I don't care. I just need to know why." I defend myself after his statement. I keep looking at him to see every reaction he makes. Whether he changes his expression or moves his ring finger. I need to know everything to understand.

When he stands there doing nothing but crying I forcefully grab his arm with my hand and place his hand with blade pointing out on my arm. I can feel the tears in my eyes.

Shawn's cries get louder and he begs for me to stop. "I won't stop until I know why." I tell him.

"Cut me." I tell him.
He doesn't do that.

I grab his hand and press the blade further down on my skin.

Shawn's cries for me to stop get louder.

I calmly move his hand over my arm with enough force to leave a red angry cut behind. It's not too deep, but it does hurt.

Shawn is sobbing and crying. He keeps yelling at me to stop doing this.