Just thoughts

"This is not love..." He whispers to himself, hands covering his eyes as he sit alone in the dark. 

"This is not love..." He repeats, trying to convince himself that this strange feeling he harbours for her isn't be what he thinks it is. But who is he to say? He has never fell in love, he have had little crushes before, yet none felt like this. But still, this can't be love, that he is sure of. 

Love doesn't feel like this. 

Love doesn't make you be okay with the person hanging out with others, when you are in love aren't you easily jealous? Not willing to share them with anyone else? 

He is alright with her loving another person, in fact he even ships her with others for fun. Love doesn't allow you to do that.

 He knows this is not love. 

But then what is this feeling? Of wanting her to always be happy? Of wanting her to always be in good health? Of always wanting to be beside her? Of... wanting to be the cause of her smile, laughter?

This is not love.   

He knows it's not love.

But he doesn't know what exactly this feeling is. And he wants to know. Is this what you feel for a friend? A family member? Is this another crush? A infatuation? Or is it what they call puppy love?

He takes a deep breath, sighs. 

"It's okay, as long as it's not love." And with that, he removes his hands from his face.

"It's okay like this." After all., it wasn't such a big deal right? As long as he knows that what he feels for her isn't love then it's good enough. No use thinking about all that. 

"Calm down, chill, let's just go to sleep. There's school tomorrow." And unconsciously, his lips twitch into a smile at the thought of being able to see her.