9.3 Martian Girls

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"Martian Girls" is the term hardcore female fans of the band call themselves. I'm positively sure they have male fans, but they're pretty much a minority no matter what their orientation.

Anyway, it was the forums on MG Extra, the official Martian Girls website, I turned to ever since I got that stare from Donnie. At first it was solely him that racked my brain, but the fact none of the guys aged or appeared to have aged got to me. Could've been Botox, but my gut suspected something else.

I scanned the threads that were basically "share pictures of the band". Whether it was from personally meeting them at autograph sessions or grainy concert photos from being in the far reaches of the concert venue, it was there. Of course, there were the high-quality ones with the photographer's name blurred out as well. Each of these pictures, minus the pixelated concert ones, showed minor variations in the Boys' appearances. Sure, some touch-ups on the HQ photos exaggerated their youthful appearances, but the up close and personal shots I paid attention to the most. I compared a group photo with a fan taken in the late 90s to Chelsea Beaulieu's recently taken one. It was all over social media the second it was uploaded and it was also in the fan forum too. The only difference I could find was the Boys were all clean shaven in the old photo while in the new one they had varying degrees of facial hair.

Moving on to other pictures I came across a thread with the title "Jonas really looks like his granddad". I opened the thread and the first post read, "My family has been in the photography business for four generations now. As I was going through my granddad's portfolio, I found a picture of a rock band which had members who looked exactly like Donnie, Jonas, and Justin. I recall Jonas mentioning his grandfather as his inspiration to get into music."

I clicked on the attachment to open the picture. There in glorious sepia were three young men standing next to a car. They appeared exactly like Donnie, Jonas, and Justin, but they were wearing clothing styles popular in the late 50s. I've heard of actors and actresses playing their relatives or distant ancestors, but there would be slight variations in their appearance because of their mom or dad. This picture, however, was only different from the others in terms of their hairstyle and hair colour. Unless these guys had a superb plastic surgeon, I had a strong feeling Boys from Venus were really from Venus. That would be hilarious if they were actually women. No, not in the gender dysphoria sense, but what I mean is they weren't human, like alien clones or something.

"You don't seem the type who would listen to their shitty music." I didn't have to look over my shoulder to see that Draven The Annoying Ghost had appeared and he had been watching me. Fucking creepy.

"Like you don't have any guilty pleasures."

"In all honesty, I don't think they're a guilty pleasure of yours. You like their music and that's okay. They sound like something my sister would listen to."

"Then maybe I should play one of their songs." I unjacked my headset from the computer, selected Boys from Venus' cheesiest and most clichéd love song, and then played it. Ah yes. Clichéd love songs never change with their "Hey girl, I love you because you're special" crap.

"How do you like them apples?" I yelled at Draven. As I turned around, Draven had disappeared. He must have done so when he heard my intent on playing a song. With no one else in the apartment but me, I decided to dance around the living room. I haven't listened to this song in ages and nobody was going to get in my way of dancing until–

"Wow, I haven't listened to this song in a while!" Carmen had returned to the apartment and tossed her backpack onto a couch. After she tossed her jacket too, she joined me in the dancing until the song finished. "Do you still regret not coming with me?"

I sat down on the other couch to rest. "Nah, I'm good."

"The thing is," she said as she moved her things aside and sat down, "the person I had planned on bringing with me had a last-minute work schedule change. She's forced to work that night."

"That sucks."

"I know, right? It's just, I don't know who else to bring. I tried calling my friend Carlene, but she's caught a bug of some sort. James doesn't like boyband stuff and asking Max to come on such brief notice will be stressful for him."

And then there's me. "You sure you didn't visit someone who–"

"Fuck no! I'd never sabotage or see some witch to change fate so that you'll come with me. If there's anything I know about making deals with witches, they tend to fuck things up when you ask for something. I asked James to pull a practical joke on someone but I ended up being the victim of it due to bad timing. That was the last time I went within ten feet of molasses."

I looked off to the side and saw Draven floating while sitting cross-legged. "Now you'll definitely get to go to the concert." He flashed two thumbs up, winked, and then disappeared again.

I shook my head. "You're not going to threaten to boot me out of the apartment if I don't go with you, are you?"

Carmen had a quizzical expression on her face when I asked. "What do you mean?"

"Back in episode one when we started out as roommates. You threatened to kick me out if I didn't go to a party with you."

"I don't remember that. Why would I do such a thing? And besides, episode one was a long time ago."

Strange how she forgot that. More or less out of character for her. But then again, her attitudes towards me changed after my revelation to her as a vampire. "I guess I can go with you to the concert. Apparently, when I handed in my resignation letter, the boss told me I wasn't working well with their team. They didn't like it when I ditched the Hallowe'en party. So that leaves Friday free for me."

"Awesome! No need to hold yourself back when we go. It's quite obvious you like the band as much as you try to hide it."

She was right. I mean, what supernatural race usually labelled as evil listens to boy bands? Aren't we supposed to be classical music and doom metal fans? Don't ask me to explain these things or else I'll miss out on telling the good part about how I got into my fight with Donnie Knight.

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Lena, you've been around for a long time, how is it not possible for you to recognize one of the Boys from their previous musical careers? Just for fun, what kind of music do you think vampires, werewolves, witches, or ghosts listen to?

Of course if you love what you read, say something! Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Song featured: "Cliché Love Song" by Basim

Edited: 05/31/2021

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