Chapter 28 || The Princess Who Lost Her Crown.

What is the most awkward feeling ? For me it is probably being stared at. There are different types of stares for example a guy eying up a girl in the most disgusting way possible or some girls giving a girl they do not like an envious look. When someone stares at you intensely, it's like they're touching you and those "touches" are mostly very uncomfortable. The problem is that you cannot protect yourself from them. When someone touches you, you can just walk away or anything but stares are unavoidable and sometimes even worse than being actually touched by someone.

This is exactly what you have to expect when you are walking next to Marissa Monroe in the hallways of our high school. The popular girls gazed at us derogatorily, some guys licked their lips as we passed them.

Gross.

Normally, I had expected people to stop staring since we had entered the cafeteria which was full of people, being fully occupied with their own problems and lives but I guess I was wrong...

Not that the whole cafeteria went quiet and stared at us like in one of those movies but we did receive a few glances. I approached the usual spot were the guys, Kyle, Lizzie and Paula sat. Seemingly, Marissa tried to stay close to me because she had no idea where I was actually going.

"Hello there, beautiful. Sofía, why didn't you tell me that you had such a gorgeous friend.", Noah smirked, biting his lip. Marissa blushed and let out a giggle. Poor innocent girl...

That was actually the first time he called me by my real name. Except for the times we had a serious conversation, he normally never calls me Sofía around people but not this time.

No princess. No nothing.

It kind of bothered me, although it may have meant nothing but it still felt utterly weird.

"To limit the damages.", I replied sarcastically, not looking at him. "This is Marissa. She attended some weird elite school, I cannot pronounce the name of but then changed here to our school. She is also the daughter of my mother's boyfriend that is why we know each other."

Everybody gave her a kind smile and she immediately seated herself next to Noah. I decided not to comment that and took a seat between Kyle and Lizzie. Lizzie was busy talking to Paula so I tried to give my fully undivided attention to Kyle. Stressing the "tried" because I could not stop looking at Marissa and Noah enjoying themselves.

Marissa was laughing at Noah's stupid jokes with her stupid perfect hair and her stupid perfect personality.

Wow, I do not sound jealous at all...

My head snapped up at someone clearing his throat. "Did you even listen to what I just said for the past five minutes ?", Kyle raised one eyebrow, crossing his arms.

His gaze wandered to Marissa and Noah and then back at me."Okay, now I know what is going on.", he grinned.

"It's not what it looks like.", I tried to defend myself, knowingly that he would not believe me. "Uh-huh.", was all I got from him in response.

"Why have you decided to join this school anyway ?", Paula asked Marissa interested.

Marissa started to tell her story about her never being able to go to a normal school because of her dad, dragging her into those elite schools. He always wanted her to have an "education that fits her standards" but eventually he gave in and let her attend Summerville High. Apparently, those private schools are horrible according to what Marissa has told us.

If you think that is all then, my friends, I have got some bad news for you...

This was only the beginning because then she started to talk about her voluntary work in the orphanage and that she went to Africa to teach in a school there and now is fluent in Swahili. I mean, I know a lot of languages because I learned as a hobby.

But fucking Swahili ?!

Everybody seemed to be captivated by her story, judging by their amazed looks on their faces. Noah did occasionally glance at me but I ignored it. I haven't told anyone about the kiss because I did not want to make a fuss about something that, eventually, won't mean anything.

"Oh my God, you are a saint !", Paula exclaimed. "Is there like anything you did not do ?"

Marissa smiled shyly and tried to change the subject which did not really help because now they were talking about extracurricular activities at her former school. Great...

Kyle nudged me with his elbow and looked at the exit of the cafeteria, signalling me to go because lunch was almost over. We stood up but everybody around us did not seem to notice because they were so fascinated by Marissa's story.

"Your want some peanut butter and toast ? Because you already seem to have the jelly.", he remarked sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not jealous.", I lied. " Even if it would not matter because there is not anything between me and him. Plus, he already seemed enjoy himself with Marissa and let's be honest, I would choose her over me."

"Could you stop exaggerating?", he interrupted me. "They have just met fifteen minutes ago and you are already having their wedding planned."

"Look at her, she is perfect and everyone likes her and..."

"I don't.", he interrupted me again. "Nobody is perfect, Sofía, and people who claim to be are the least likely to be it. In fact, they are mostly quiet the opposite. I have met quite a few girls like that and I don't know why but I have a weird feeling about Marissa.", I stopped walking at his comment and stood in the hallway, looking at him sceptically.

"Don't be ridiculous. She is an angel and I doubt that she would hurt anyone purposely."

"All I am saying is that I have a weird feeling. I may or not be right about it but there is something about her which I find really strange. It does not really matter anyway because she is not the problem, you are. You make up lame cliché excuses why you cannot be with him just because you are scared. I know that you never had a boyfriend and this is new for you but he really likes you which is more than obvious. You need to make up your mind and decide what you want because there comes the time when you wish you had made a move."

He did not even give me the chance to respond and vanished in the classroom.

...........

Here I sat in Psychology, thinking about what Kyle had told me. I know he is right and I am scared because I don't want to go through the same stupid stuff again. He still thinks I fear relationships because I never had one were, in fact, it's quite the opposite. Perhaps I had told him about it but he did not give me the chance to.

I think I'm past the stage where I deny that I have feelings for him because this obviously doesn't work anymore and I need to talk to him about the kiss. I need to know whether he has feelings for me or not.

Eventually, I have to stop running and need to face my fear. I'm the most indecisive person ever and I never really know what I want until the opportunity had passed. Maybe he is really better off with Marissa...?

No, Sofía. That is exactly what Kyle was talking about. Quit being such a coward and start making decisions.

I will talk to Noah and find out if there could be something between us. As long as I have not figured out what the deal is, I will never be able to put this whole thing behind myself.

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