fifty six

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The first time it happened, everyone in our year had just finished their final English exam, whereas all other students were in class. Collectively however, everyone moved to the cafeteria. It was raining, and in three hours we would have our last exam: Biology. Some were ecstatic that this would be the last test ever taken at this high school, given they wouldn't fail everything of course. Others were stressing, because they hadn't revised enough, and some were about to take a nap.

I was anxious, tense, scared that something would go wrong. I had brought my laptop with me, and was now on a shared Skype call with Tyler, Emma and Alex. The latter two had stayed up for the occasion, and I could see Emma especially really wanted to sleep. Instead of sitting at a table, I was sitting on the ground with my legs crossed, getting up and pacing ever so often. In two minutes and thirty-six seconds, the first TRXYE teaser would go online. Everywhere. On my instagram, my twitter, tumblr, facebook. You name it, it was going online there. And, of course, it would appear here on every phone connected to the wifi, on every screen attached to the main system here. So, in every classroom, the screen in front would show my TRXYE promo. Every phone would light up and redirect to a blank page showing it. And there would be no avoiding it, for anyone.

And thus I was nervous. I was scared something would go wrong anyway, no matter how many times everyone had assured me nothing could go wrong. That nothing would go wrong. But the fear was etched within me anyway.

"Troye!" I whipped my head towards the right, catching Jc's eyes. "Could you stop pacing for a second!?" I averted my gaze and sat down again, wiping my sweaty palms against my jeans. I had to calm down. "What are you so anxious about anyway, jeez you don't have to worry about your exam that much!" I knew he meant well, but I couldn't help feeling slightly attacked.

I needed Connor to be here right now. The buzz in the cafeteria, the excitement of my friends on skype and the rest of the guys not knowing anything about this didn't really help. Where was Connor, anyways? The boy had disappeared right after taking the exam. I plugged in my headphones again, and hunched over my laptop. My phone was in my hands, and I was tapping it against my leg in a nervous habit.

2:02, 2:01, 2:00, 1:59, 1:58... the seconds ticked by easily, and I couldn't stop watching the countdown. I had gone so far that I'd basically zoned out. My eyes weren't even on my friends in the skype call, and even though I had my earphones in, I didn't hear them. So when two hands were placed upon my shoulders and a soft "boo!" was whispered in my ear, I jumped, one of my earphones falling out in the process. I heard laughter everywhere, as well as from the skype call as the boys around me as from the boy who had placed his hands on my shoulder. He sat down now, wrapping his legs around mine from behind and pressing a small kiss to my temple.

However, still recovering from my near heart attack, I wasn't immediately in the mood to hug him. "Fuck you, Connor," was what I muttered underneath my breath, before handing him one of the earphones to plug in, so he could listen along to my friends excitedly chatting amongst themselves. My shoulders were tense, and I tried relaxing underneath Connors hands, which were making small circles on my arms and stomach.

"Sexual intercourse on school grounds can get you expelled, Tro, let's not do that," he replied and before I could even react to it, he pressed a small kiss against my temple. "I'm just kidding, Troye." He laughed a little, squeezing my hand and taking my phone from me in a swift movement. I gave him an annoyed look, but returned my eyes to the countdown not much later.

0:47, 0:46, 045, 0:44, 043,... the slight lump in my throat grew as I fixated my eyes on the countdown. It was, quite literally, the only thing I could see. Being this stressed and worked up for the first teaser to go up, I had no idea how I would survive Vidcon, hoe I would survive the EP actually coming out. I probably wouldn't. Connor's hand probably wouldn't, either. My grip on it was so tight that I could almost see the blood draining out of it.

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