After creating room in his busy schedule, Franklin reserved us a table at the smuggest restaurant in Manhattan. Elements of smugness included being e-mailed instructions on how to address your waiter, table rules such as no reading off the menu, and a pronunciation guide of international foods and wines.
To help me prepare, I dragged Vik into my bedroom to make me look elegant. I was going for a cross between Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and Alexis, a high-class prostitute that hung out in our back alley.
"How does this look?" I said, twirling in my off-the-rack black cocktail dress.
Vik looked with a look of horror. "Honestly, Viola, I don't think formal wear is your thing."
"Hey! I look good in formal wear. All eyes are on me when I wear my monocle and top hat on the subway."
"All I'm saying is that I don't think you will be making any best-dressed lists in that outfit."
Turning around, I modeled for the mirror. "I have potential. Did you know Viola made People's Top Fifty Sexiest Names list?"
"Viola is also the name of a high-end vibrator."
I slid my phone off my dresser. "Ugh... still no call or even text message."
"Relax. Franklin will call you when he's on his way."
I bit my lip and stared at Vik for a few seconds in hopes that he could read my mind. "I'm talking about Christos."
"Christos hasn't replied to any of us. Just forget about him."
I exhaled and sat on the edge of the bed. "I've tried... I can't". I fell back into the bed. "I think I'm in love with him."
"You can't just drop a bombshell like that out of nowhere," said Vik. "You're not Beyoncé."
Covering my face with clammy hands, I asked, "What do I do?"
"Don't marry Franklin, that's what you do."
I removed my hands from my face and turned onto my side. "You don't get what it's like to be a woman. People place this pressure on you to get married, have kids, live happily ever after. And then there is this biological clock that's ticking down. I have to marry Franklin. I mean, who knows if Christos even still feels the same way anymore?"
"Viola, like that hairdo and choice of shoes, you're being ridiculous."
I leaped off the bed. "I'm being serious, Vik. I once thought I was having hot flashes. Thankfully it turned out to be food poisoning."
"Hey, Cinderella," said Shaniqua. "Your Prince Charming just arrived."
"Hey, Shan, how do I look?" I spun around like a princess.
She looked me up and down. "You look like Alexis."
"I'll take it," I said cheerfully and ran out of the room.
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The Fat Bitch Diet
Romance"I don't think he's a member; he must be the new personal trainer." Bursting with humor and emotion, The Fat Bitch Diet tells the light-hearted story of a heavy, witty, twenty-something female who challenges herself to lose weight after she becomes...
