Chapter 18

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Chapter 18

They were lying on a blanket scattered with cushions on the deck.  Abi could feel Andrew’s heart beat as her head rested on his chest.  His breathing was becoming slow and deep, and she had a feeling he was sleeping.  As it was almost half past three that Sunday morning, she could understand it.  She supposed he was tired, since he had a busy week, driving up and down to Port Shepstone, cutting short his visit, coming home early, a late Friday night of fighting at her place, and then tonight, probably the most tiring night of all.  She smiled.  What a night.  She couldn’t understand how come her fuse was so short with him, and obviously vice versa.  The made a unique pair, one moment yelling at each other and the next...come to think of it, she thought this kind of relationship was only thought out for books and music videos.  Never in a million years would she have thought she would be in one.  But it made sense, since she had a fierce temper, and so did he.  At least the making up was fun.

She slowly adjusted her head, not wanting to wake him.  They had a very productive date.  She blushed.  People would describe them as being like little rabbits, but not really.  She was glad they had the open conversation about sex.  As much as her body was telling her she was ready, she knew they still had to talk about her situation.  She thought back of their conversation earlier.  He laughed when she asked him about first base, but then turned surprisingly serious.     

“Abigail, I’m not going to lie to you.”  He was lying next to her.  “My intention is to marry you.”  Her eyes grew wide with shock.

“Don’t look so scared Tink; I just want you to know where you stand with me.  Maybe you’re not ready today, or tomorrow, or even at the end of the year, but that’s fine with me.  I am ready enough for both of us.  But it is important that you know how I feel.  I know I’ve only known you for such a short while, but this is who I am.  I’ve gone my whole life never meeting that person that makes me want to spend my future with her.  When I met you, I knew.  How do you feel about that?”

She hesitated, not sure how to respond.  She did love him, but she was so afraid that he would change his mind after he heard of everything.  Their eyes met, and she could see the pain from her reluctance to answer.  She had to say something.

“You know I love you Andrew, and the thought of marrying you does not feel so farfetched.”  She sat up, a serious look on her face. “You are the first man ever to make me feel this way, and probably the last.  I do love you.”  She couldn’t control her own voice.  “But I’m afraid Andrew.  You don’t know everything about me, I’m afraid I’ll scare you away.”

Andrew took her face between his hands, tenderly looking into her eyes.

“What did I say about walking away?  I promise you, nothing can take away my love for you.  It is forever.  Whatever you tell me won’t make any difference in what I feel.  I love you now, here, and in the future.  I don’t care what happened in your past, just like you didn’t care about mine.”  He was so convincing, and she suddenly felt better.  As if he wiped away her final fears and insecurities the moment he wiped the tears from her face.  He was right.  All that mattered was today and their future together. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened, Abi?”

For a moment she really considered telling him.  Only for a moment.

“I will tell you, soon.  It’s about the attack on my family, and if you don’t mind, I don’t want to spoil our night with something so awful.” 

He nodded, clearly not in the least concerned.

“I understand.  Just know, I don’t expect you to ever tell me, okay?  Only when you’re ready.”

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