So it's been a year since I met Aqua, and by now, you should think I would have mentioned something about these feelings which refuse to go away, well, if you thought that, you though wrong. In fact, I haven't had any direct dialogue with her. The only place where I can talk to her is on msn. And really, you can't blame me! This girl has a concrete wall built around her, if I didn't know her sweet loving nature, I would think that she was cold and quiet. She doesn't talk to anyone at school, other than Adam and Mia, and of course Regan. They are like the best of friends...okay, maybe they are not that close...yet, but it doesn't mean I don't see what's going on here.
Before, I couldn't really be bothered about my parent's café, but now I stalk the place, I come in here every morning, and just like this morning, I walk in and take a seat, waiting, even for the slightest acquaintance with her. I know that my sister, Trish, deliberately lets Aqua serve us coffee instead of herself, because she thinks I like her, which I do.
Aqua comes by our table, "our", being me and my friends, who I have to admit aren't that nice. She comes bye, her smile suddenly dying, and it wrenches my gut. She smiles absent minded to Regan, who smiles back, almost as if they are sharing a personal joke. I could kill Regan, and right now, I mean it. It's only a couple of minutes later that I feel guilty for even hating Regan. It's always been bros over hoes, not that Aqua is a hoe, but I'm just saying, it's stupid to let a chick come between our friendship. Girls come and go, but I'll always have Regan as a brother no matter what. I practically grew up with the guy...but I really wanted Aqua, and I'm not even sure it was for the right reasons.
One of my friends made a joke about her and they all laughed, apart from me and Regan. I know this is a mean thing to say, but I wished Regan would laugh, because then I could know he didn't care about her.
But who am I kidding, I know Regan likes her, I just don't know if he's interested in her. So I'm going to have to ask him, but I don't know how I'm going to ask him without making him suspicious...
Before I left the café to go to school, Trish pulled me into the back,
"What is it now?" I asked, although she's older, I'm a whole foot taller than her, that's my advantage over her I guess. I don't know how she does it, but Trish can read me like a book.
"I know you like Aqua"
I actually had the nerve to blush.
"Really now?" I asked, trying to make her think she was being ridiculous.
"Oh come on Jake! You didn't suddenly start coming here every morning and every day after school because you enjoy my company!"
"How do you know? Maybe I do"
"No I meant maybe I do like your company!"
"Mhmm" she said, walking away.
Was I that obvious?
Back in the present...
(Still in Jake's P.O.V)
A noise at my doorway brought me back to reality...It was Trish.
"Hi..." I said.
"Hi..." she said.
"Soo..." wow I didn't even know how to make conversation with my own sister. Life must be getting bad.
"How are you?" she asked. Such normal conversation to be having at 3am with your sister.
Well this is awkward
"I'm fine Trish"
"Ok...well, I'm gonna go to bed now, something you should try..."
"I will sleep when I'm tired"
"For goodness sake Jake have you looked at yourself in the mirror!?" why is she angry at me?
"As a matter of fact I have" which wasn't a complete lie. I didn't want to look in the mirror. I was afraid of what I was going to see...
"Goodnight Jake" she said and closed the door. I continued looking at Aqua.
And I thought. If Aqua woke up, she wouldn't be happy at all the self sacrifices I've been making, such as depriving myself of sleep. In fact, she would feel guilty and get upset.
I knew her that well.
Although when faced with reality, I've never had a conversation with her which didn't end in tears or someone getting hurt...apart from that one time when I found her at the beach and ended up taking her to the hospital.
Huh? Isn't it funny that the only time she's been in my bed involves a hospital... not that I'm complaining. My bed always smell like her after she's been in it, and it tortures me. But if it's the closest I can get to her, then I'm not complaining. Sometimes it feels as if she's lying in the bed next to me... but I haven't been in my bed for almost a week and a half now. And I don't mind. My couch is actually quite comfy. And the view isn't that bad either...
You know what? I think I will sleep.
I stood up, stretching, I didn't realize how tired I was. I looked at Aqua and smiled. She was the prettiest sight in this world.
I kissed her on her cheek, and for a second, I think she actually blushed, but maybe it was just my imagination playing tricks on me.
Kissing her on the cheek is about the closest to physical contact I've had with her, apart from that time on the beach with her friends, I don't know what possessed me that day, 'cause I actually pulled her into the water and we were rolling in the sand...that was the best sensation in my life. I was about to kiss her on the lips, but Adam interrupted us. I could have sworn at him then, but I didn't, because it would upset Aqua...
I took one last look at her and went to the couch. I'm sure she will be in my dreams. Nothing else consumes me as much as she does. I live with her, we breathe the same air, and she sleeps in my bed.
When she wakes up, I'll have to tell her how I feel, even if she doesn't love me back, I can't go on living like this. I want to be with her every waking moment. I want to hold her in my arms, I want to protect her, maybe then she wouldn't get into these accidents. It seems to me as if she's very accident prone...
Thoughts of her smile come into my mind as I drift off to sleep.
I just hope I don't end up in one of those 'I love you,you don't love me,life goes on situations' cause life wouldn't go on.
I believe it was early Thursday morning when I woke up. I didn't feel like school yet, and I didn't feel like staying in this room today. So I took a walk. It felt good being able to stretch my legs and take in some fresh air. Mom and dad where not back from overseas yet, and Trish was still home, so I would get back before she left. I sat by a near bench, and I nearly dosed off.
I felt more relaxed than I had in days, I now actually thought that maybe Aqua also wanted some space. That thought made me laugh as I started walking back home.
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