Chapter Forty One: Rocky Road

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"Why is he still crying?" Tom's voice is hard.

"I don't know!" you snap.

The boy in your arms is screaming and thrashing wildly.

"Shh. Please stop," you beg.

"I don't think that's going to help," Tom grumbles angrily.

"Go go bed! I don't need your help."

"I would, but he's screaming so loud that I don't think I could sleep."

You glare and pace around the room. It's two in the morning, and William has been crying for an hour and a half.

"Damn it! I need to go to bed. I have to be at work in four hours," Tom snaps.

"I know! What do you want me to do about it? He won't stop. I don't have any magic powers to stop this from happening."

"Well there's got to be something you can do!"

"Oh, yeah. I'll just open up my baby handbook and figure out how to fix him," you roll your eyes.

Tom mumbles something that you don't catch.

"Just go downstairs and try to sleep. I'll try as hard as I can to keep him quiet."

"You haven't been doing a very good job up until now."

"Shut up," you mumble.

"Sorry? I didn't catch that," he glares.

"Nothing."

He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He hunches over and puts his head in his hands.

"I can't do this again," you mumble. "I'm not ready. It's too soon."

"What are you going on about?" Tom spits.

"I'm pregnant. Again."

"Jesus," he breaths. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I saw the doctor a few days ago."

"A few days? Why haven't you bloody said anything?"

"I wanted to wait for the right time, but it looks like there isn't going to be a right time."

"Yeah. Apparently not."

William is still thrashing around in your arms, your head hurts, Tom's upset. Great. This is just fantastic. Tom gets out of the rocking chair he's sitting in and walks out of the nursery. You follow him to the hallway and watch him march down the stairs, put his coat on, and reach for the door handle.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to think about some stuff, and maybe I'll get some bloody sleep before filming. I'll be home tonight."

The door slams behind him and you glare at it.

Finally, around three o'clock, William calms down to the point where he's no longer screaming. Whimpers escape from his mouth, but you can finally hear yourself think. You should have waited to tell Tom about the pregnancy. Now, every time you think about the baby, all either of you are going to think about is this horrible night.

William finally gives in to sleep at almost a quarter to four. You put him in his crib and make your way downstairs and crawl into the empty bed.

In order to keep William's schedule on time, you're forced to get up at seven. You enter his room to find him already awake, happily cooing.

"You're just like your father. I wish I could wake up the way you two do," you grumble as you lift him from the crib and start to change his diaper.

You set about your normal morning routine, waiting until you can finally go back to bed. A little before noon you're sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee. William is playing with his toys on the floor. You consider making lunch, but you don't feel like cooking anything. You hear the front door open and footsteps walking through the living room. You turn to see Tom standing there. He bends down to kiss William on the head before moving into the kitchen to kiss your cheek.

"Hi," he says, giving you a halfhearted smile.

"Hi," you reply. "What are you doing here?"

"I've got some time for lunch," he says, holding up a bag from your favorite restaurant.

You smile as he sets it on the table. "Thanks."

"Mhm. Did you get any sleep?"

"About three hours."

He sighs. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you."

"It's okay. What about you? Did you find somewhere to sleep?"

"I went on set and slept in the trailer."

You nod and he sits down and takes your hands in his.

"So, you're really pregnant?" he asks quietly.

"Yes," you whisper.

"Okay," he nods.

"That's it? Okay?"

"Yeah. We'll get through it. It'll be hard, but we can do it."

You look at him and smile. Your eyes sting, and you feel the wetness on your cheek. He smiles back and wipes your tears away.

"To be honest, I'm actually excited. I know we were going to wait, but it's our baby. Ours. We'll get through it together," he smiles.

"I'm excited, too. I'm happy. I didn't think I would be this happy to have a baby so soon after William, but I am."

"You remember that dress I bought before William was born? When I was convinced we were going to have a girl? Maybe now we'll be able to get use out of it," he laughs.

You smile and lean in, gently pressing your lips against his.

"I love you, Tom."

"I love you, too. Why don't you go get some sleep. I'll put William down for his nap before I leave."

You kiss him once more before making your way to the bedroom.

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