You Might Be Ghetto If ...

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You Might Be Ghetto If ...

the only art you own is on your fingernails

if you call smoking weed a date

if you say AXE instead of "ASK"

you call your girl "boo"

you still wear a jacket with fur on the hood

when you have to open your door in a drive thru cause your window doesn't work

if your 15 year old sister has two baby daddies

if you have a home-made license plate on the back of your car

if you use clothes detergent to wash dishes and dish detergent to take bubble baths

if you've ridden a bicycle with no seat

if you record your ringtones off the radio

if u get a payday loan to go to the strip club

if you walk around playing ringtones off yo phone

if you use 50% coupons at the dollar store

when u brush your teeth with your finger and hand soap

if you use scotch tape and a napkin as a band-aid

if your hair looks like some bees be livin in it

when you order a double cheeseburger and you ask for big mac sauce on it

when you use your shoe lace as a belt

if you iron dirty clothes

you pick up women at the laundromat

You have the bootleg cable man's number in your wallet.

if you wear colored contacts

all you drink is thot juice (margarita budlight)

You and your mom have the same probation officer

If you ever had the lights, telephone, or cable in your childs name

If you dive to the floor when change drops

If you wear the same suit for funerals, prom, and job interviews

if you eat cough drops like candy

you think the word "cotillion" is a really big number

if your rims on your car cost more than your car

if you have a cup of bacon fat on your stove

if the McDonalds in your neighborhood has a "walk-thru"

if your shoes cost more than your car

if everything in your house is bootleg, including your man

if you have a TV that works, sitting on a TV that doesn't work

if you got all 4 of your babydaddies names tatted on you

if you've played dodgeball, kick the can, or red light; green light.

when you pay more for your child's sneakers than for his childcare

if your kid is named after a alcoholic beverage

if you own jewelry that weighs more than a 400 page book

when you never have to buy ketchup cause your fridge is full of packets from Mcdonald's

if you calling females out by the color of their clothing "aye blue shirt" "ayye pink shorts"

You have a technique to starting up your car.

The only dates marked on calendar are the 1st and the 15th when you and your daughter go out to night clubs together

You can't eat anything without sauce. (ketchup, honey mustard, etc)

when you wrap presents in newspaper or brown paper bags

if your kids don't know the alphabet but knows all the Nicki Minaj songs

when you cuss out the waitress and tell her no one ordered gratuity and take it off your bill

if you make grilled cheeses sandwiches with a clothing iron

if you know you don't need a toaster to make toast

you drive around a school parking lot with your music blasting and think youre the man 

(Go checkout my other Joke Book, "The Rules of Being Black" & my awesome hood dramas "Lies of a Brooklyn Teenager" & "The Side Bitch Diaries" !)

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