You Might Be Ghetto If ...
the only art you own is on your fingernails
if you call smoking weed a date
if you say AXE instead of "ASK"
you call your girl "boo"
you still wear a jacket with fur on the hood
when you have to open your door in a drive thru cause your window doesn't work
if your 15 year old sister has two baby daddies
if you have a home-made license plate on the back of your car
if you use clothes detergent to wash dishes and dish detergent to take bubble baths
if you've ridden a bicycle with no seat
if you record your ringtones off the radio
if u get a payday loan to go to the strip club
if you walk around playing ringtones off yo phone
if you use 50% coupons at the dollar store
when u brush your teeth with your finger and hand soap
if you use scotch tape and a napkin as a band-aid
if your hair looks like some bees be livin in it
when you order a double cheeseburger and you ask for big mac sauce on it
when you use your shoe lace as a belt
if you iron dirty clothes
you pick up women at the laundromat
You have the bootleg cable man's number in your wallet.
if you wear colored contacts
all you drink is thot juice (margarita budlight)
You and your mom have the same probation officer
If you ever had the lights, telephone, or cable in your childs name
If you dive to the floor when change drops
If you wear the same suit for funerals, prom, and job interviews
if you eat cough drops like candy
you think the word "cotillion" is a really big number
if your rims on your car cost more than your car
if you have a cup of bacon fat on your stove
if the McDonalds in your neighborhood has a "walk-thru"
if your shoes cost more than your car
if everything in your house is bootleg, including your man
if you have a TV that works, sitting on a TV that doesn't work
if you got all 4 of your babydaddies names tatted on you
if you've played dodgeball, kick the can, or red light; green light.
when you pay more for your child's sneakers than for his childcare
if your kid is named after a alcoholic beverage
if you own jewelry that weighs more than a 400 page book
when you never have to buy ketchup cause your fridge is full of packets from Mcdonald's
if you calling females out by the color of their clothing "aye blue shirt" "ayye pink shorts"
You have a technique to starting up your car.
The only dates marked on calendar are the 1st and the 15th when you and your daughter go out to night clubs together
You can't eat anything without sauce. (ketchup, honey mustard, etc)
when you wrap presents in newspaper or brown paper bags
if your kids don't know the alphabet but knows all the Nicki Minaj songs
when you cuss out the waitress and tell her no one ordered gratuity and take it off your bill
if you make grilled cheeses sandwiches with a clothing iron
if you know you don't need a toaster to make toast
you drive around a school parking lot with your music blasting and think youre the man
(Go checkout my other Joke Book, "The Rules of Being Black" & my awesome hood dramas "Lies of a Brooklyn Teenager" & "The Side Bitch Diaries" !)