THE 20 DISSES
#1 : Words can't describe your outfit, so I'll just throw up!
#2 : They can't measure your intelligence. The scale won't go that low.
#3 : Appearances can be deceiving. Or in your case, disgusting.
#4 : I promise not to make fun of your height. I would never stoop to that.
#5 : I'm glad you're tall. It gives me more of you to dislike.
#6 : I think you stepped on something smelly. Like your feet!
#7 : I've seen tables with nicer looking legs than yours.
#8 : Are you going to eat that apple, or gum it to death?
#9 : Your mouth's the perfect size... for your foot.
#10 : I've seen a nose like yours before, but it looked better on the baboon.
#11 : Know what I like about your face? Me neither.
#12 : Know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag.
#13 : Why don't you do something different with your hair? Like, wash it.
#14 : You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.
#15 : You'll never use your mind. You can't lose what you never had.
#16 : You've made this date something I won't forget... no matter how hard I try.
#17 : I know why they call this a "blind date." Because now that I've seen you, I wish I were blind.
#18 : You're like disposable diapers...always getting dumped.
#19 : ''What are you doing Friday night?'' -->''Trying to forget you just asked me that.''
#20 : "What's he got that I haven't?" "You want it alphabetically?"
(Go checkout my other Joke Book, "The Rules of Being Black" & my awesome hood dramas "Lies of a Brooklyn Teenager" & "The Side Bitch Diaries" !)