Day 29

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Day 29

On the twenty-ninth day, Luke came back.

"So, why did you try to kill yourself?" 

"It's a long story."

"I want to help you." 

"You can't."

"Well, I'm going to try anyway."

"Yeah, I know you will.

You'll help for about a week or two,

then when I start to really feel close to you,

I'll tell you my secrets.

You'll find out how messed up I really am.

Then you'll say how upset you are that I'm so terribly depressed and you'll make me get help.

You'll make empty promises and pretend like you care,

but in reality, you've given up on me.

I'll learn that I can't tell you those things anymore and you'll stop asking,

even though you know for a fact that they're still happening.

We'll grow distant and I'll hate myself for opening up to you.

You won't realize that I'll try to kill myself again

and we'll still talk even though there will always be that awkwardness

because you gave up.

Just like you promised you never would.

Because everyone gives up in the end."

He just stared at me, so I continued.

"Your closest friends will become faraway figures in the distance

and you'll be left on your own to cope with these fucked up emotions

even though you have no idea how to.

Everyone gives up, and I mean everyone."

"Jamie, I--"

"And that, more than anything, made me want to die." 

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