Harry Potter Discovers Starkid

Act 2 Part 1

NEWS SHOUTER 1

Extra extra! Read all about it! Harry Potter, the boy who beat Voldemort now says he's back!

"Ron, could you open that stuff any louder?" Ginny asked sarcastically as Ron began tearing into his mountain of sweets. He thought about it for second, than shook his head.

NEWS SHOUTER 2

Daily Prophet! Get your Daily Prophet here! Harry Potter versus Voldymort round 2!

NEWS SHOUTER 3

Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge makes a statement!

MINISTER OF MAGIC [Cedric in a new costume]

I've heard these Voldemort rumours and I for on simply don't believe them.

"Hey look. Cedric found a way to come back from the dead!" Hermione pointed out.

NEWS SHOUTER 2

Voldemort talks about it on his new FluTube channel!

VOLDEMORT

I'm gonna find Harry Potter and **** to his ****!!

Harry grimaced, scowling at the stage. "Violent much?" he grumbled.

NEWS SHOUTER 2

Also does a review of "Seventeen Again"!

VOLDEMORT

Well it was a little slow at first but come on! Zac Efron! Zefron! 'Nuff said!

"Zefron?" Ron asked through a mouth full of Bugles. Hermione turned on him. "You don't know who Zac Efron is?" she asked, unbelieving. "He's just a gorgeous American actor with the voice of an angel!"

MINISTER OF MAGIC

I've seen these so called posts and I still don't believe it! This is a rouse! You've all been hoodwinked!

"Sounds like the real thing," Harry said to Ginny, who nodded.

NEWS SHOUTER 4

Professor Quirrel confesses to murder of Hogwarts student Cedric Diggory! Receives life in Azkahban!

"But its all those meanies Voldemort and Bellatrix's fault!" Ginny snapped.

ALL

Extra! Extra! Daily Prophet here! [All exit]

[Harry and Ron enter from different sides, Harry reading a Daily Prophet and Ron holding a 10 lb chocolate bar. The desk is still in the room as well as a bench. Neville, Cho, Pansy and Lavender enter as well]

"That is the biggest chocolate bar I have ever seen in my entire life," Ginny said, eyes wide.

 HARRY

Ron this totally sucks dude-

RON

This is horrible!

HARRY

Yeah I know, look at this. Its terrible. Harry Potter versus Voldemort, the fight of the century.

 RON

No! It's not that! It's Hermione! It's just like I can't get her out of my head and every time I look at her...I get these pains in my chest...and I know its her fault that bitch! I'm just not cut out for this Harry, I'm just not!