Chapter 14

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What was a marriage?

What did it mean when I came to this house?

What was I supposed to do with this responsibility?

I didn't know it was going to be this hard for me but it was.

I knew our marriage wasn't built on love so happiness wasn't a high expectation on my mind but neither was disappointment.

I didn't know the weight of the title wife, or what it meant but I was slowly understanding it.

When I agreed to this marriage I was thinking only about my father, I didn't stop to ask about myself or well-being.

I tried to help Kerrick but all he did was gnaw away at my sanity.

I didn't know he could make me cry as much as I did or leave me with feelings of loneliness but it was the reality of our marriage.

I was still Delancy and Kerrick was still himself, marriage wasn't going to change that.

"I'm going to be early from work today."

"Okay."

"When I return, I'm going to be busy, so don't get in my way."

I sat beside him on our bed and contemplated his words.

I didn't know if I was his wife, his servant or his possession.

"I'm going to make dinner early then."

He didn't look at me or make an attempt to say anything more so I took it as meaning I had his approval.

Getting up, I walked over to the door slowly with my gaze pinned on him, but he was the least bit interested in me.

"Oh and by the way, I've never been interested in getting in your way, I've only done what you've told me."

His gaze cut across to me, and he stared wide eyed but I was already leaving the room.

I knew my comment was going to cause friction between us but I wanted him to know the truth.

He had to except that.

I went to the living room and sat by myself quietly, thinking back on everything Kerrick and I had been through. I wanted to cry but I didn't know for who.

My situation was terrible because I was trapped but his was worse because he wasn't capable of getting close to anyone or showing his heart.

We were both in a bad condition.

Sounds of footsteps approaching behind me drew my attention and I watched as Kerrick descended the stairs distractedly.

He was scurrying to work as always, too preoccupied to notice I was staring at him.

"Kerrick?"

He stopped and looked at me then turned back to his task at hand.

He was always hurrying even though he was always early. I tried to ask him before why he always had to be extra early but he never gave me a response.

So I didn't ask him again.

He was shuffling to get his files together with one hand and trying to fix his tie with the other.

He was always organized but every morning his frantic hurrying made everything fall apart.

I took one end of his tie and pulled it around his neck and adjusted the other.

He was quiet watching me fix his tie, but I avoided eye contact with him although I could feel his peering gaze.

"There it's done." I told him, walking away.

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