fifty three

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C O N N O R

Troye was still in Australia, and it was now Friday, somewhere around twelve, as lunch had just started. We had settled down at our usual table with the six of us, only missing Troye. The conversation soon enough jumped from math, to what we're doing this weekend, to talking about our final exams, which would be in just a bit over a week. (a/n: I basically don't know how American schools work, just go with the flow.)

And even though I was the one with the highest grades between our group, I was still anxious for the exams. If only it was for the sole reason of it being the tests determining my final grade of high school, the sole reason of it determining what colleges I would get accepted to. The topic of the moment was still exams, and everyone was mostly just talking about what exams they were scared for. I knew Trevor was really worried he would fail and have to do the year over, as his grades hadn't been the best for the whole year. He just masked his unease and worry about it under jokes, but I knew he really didn't want to be stuck here another year.

"I'm honestly just really scared to fail chemistry. I mean, it's not that I don't understand it, it's just that, especially chemistry... it's so- so much," I added into the conversation, taking a bite of my sandwich in the process. I was met with protest, with "dude you're a straight A-student, if you flunk your tests im giving up on life," to which I couldn't help but laugh.

"Dude, I'm a gay A-student." I tried to keep my face straight- how ironically, keeping my face 'straight'- while saying the words, but couldn't help bursting out in a fit of laughter along with the rest of the boys. It died down not too long after, but everyone now was in a giddy mood.

"But, Con, dude. There's no way you're failing chem."

"Kian, have you read through all the stuff? It's so much!"

"But- " I took another bite of my sandwich, raising my eyebrow and looking at him. "you have a lot of chemistry with Troye. No way you're failing something you're so good at."

I actually was quiet, while others tried to keep their laughter down, and just looked at him, annoyed, and rolled my eyes.

"Are you kidding me right now? I'm out. Bye." I picked up my sandwich and drink, before slinging my backpack over my shoulder and turning around on my heels, already taking a couple steps towards the doors of the cafeteria. You may wonder why were sitting inside in this time of the year, and the simple reason for that was that it's downright pouring with rain.

"We know you're out, sweetie, you told us a couple months ago and went full on make-out session with Troye when we all were hanging out last week. Jeez."

I couldn't contain grinning, but rolled my eyes as the considerably bad joke Kian made. "Fuck you, Kian," I replied, before realising that that probably wasn't the smartest to say either. But I shook my head and walked away. It had taken a couple seconds for the boy to come up with another reply, but in those seconds I was already almost out of the cafeteria, which caused him to shout at me.

"Don't think Troye would like that!" I rolled my eyes and kicked the door open, really just wanting a moment alone. It wasn't necessarily the bad jokes they'd been making, though I jokingly said that's why I left, I just really wanted to be alone for a bit.

The longing for a moment of peace, of silence, of being alone with my thoughts, had come all out of the blue, and I slowed down my pace, my shoulders already more relaxed now that I was out of the cafeteria. A couple more bites of my sandwich were taken, until I decided I wasn't hungry anymore.

I wanted to go outside, to just let the rain soak me. It wasn't the most wise idea, I was well aware of it, but rain always made me happy, for some stupid reason. It was peaceful, even if it was pouring down so hard that you could jump in a pool to create the same effect as standing outside. Nonetheless, I headed down the hallway that would eventually bring me outside, until I felt a sudden hand on my lower arm. The hand was cold, though at the same time a bit clammy.

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