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Pen Your Pride

Fake Happiness || Lauren

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People say that you can sense when someone is happy without knowing a thing about them. The way that their mouth curves into a delightful smile, and the wrinkles that show under their eyes are signs of pure happiness.

Happiness is the easiest emotion to detect. Sadness, on the other hand, is the hardest. It's debatable, if you look in the right places, though, some think pure happiness is the hardest to detect. The thing is, no one knows when someone is happy or sad.

The person could be the happiest person on the inside, but slowly killing them self on the inside. Fake happiness is what they call it. Acting happy when you aren't. It's a natural self defense for some, especially when everything is too much for them to handle. It's hard to determine when someone is faking their happiness. Sometimes people go their whole lives without anyone knowing their true emotions.

*-*-*

"Your friends are horrible influences on you, Y/n!" Lauren yells while forcing her girlfriend back down on the couch. "They're forcing you to do things that you don't want to do!" She yells while taking her hands off of Y/n and leaning against the wall.

Y/n rolls her eyes. "I'm fine Lauren. I'm happy, isn't that all that you want?" She asks even though her heart is constantly holding the weight of an elephant.

Y/ns friends are rebellious, but they've never done anything illegal. Y/n has never been part of any of their scandals, but Lauren thinks she has. Every time Y/n says that she's going out with her friends, she lies and hikes to the top of the hill near their house. On that hill, she sits and reflects on her life. Y/n has learned some key things about her life, and Lauren's life, on that hill.

Lucy, Lauren's best friend, told Y/n about their hookup a month ago on that hill. Lucy never liked Y/n, she wanted her dead. Y/n believes that Lucy told her this so she would break up with Lauren, and Lucy may have succeeded. Ever since Y/n found out, she feels as if something took over her body and she isn't there. She wants to confront Lauren about it, but she can't. Y/n's stuck with pretending like nothing's wrong.

Lauren pushes herself off of the wall and sits beside Y/n. "Of course I want you happy, you just don't seem like yourself lately." She says calmly while holding onto the sleeve of her shirt.

Y/n swallows the lump in her throats and looks away from Lauren. "I haven't changed at all. If anything you have." She says while closing her eyes trying to keep all of the memories of that night on the hill out of her head.

"Me?!" Lauren exclaims while standing up. "You're fucked up Y/n, I haven't-"

"Why do you say that my friends are a bad influence? You're the one that goes out every night, gets high in an alleyway, and who knows what else you do." Y/n says while looking out the window of the house and feeling her thoughts get the best of her.

Lauren shakes her head at Y/n then looks at her girlfriends facial expression. "Are you saying that I'm cheating on you?" She asks as if it's the worst thing in the world.

Y/n keeps her mouth shut and watches the clouds move through the sky. She feels Lauren sit back down next to her.

"I love you, and only you." Lauren says while grabbing Y/ns shoulders so she can see Y/ns face.

Y/n looks down and shakes her head, not believing a word that Lauren is saying. "That's not what Lucy said." She says while pushing Lauren off of her and standing up.

Lauren is frozen in her spot, that was only one time and it was the biggest mistake of her life. Of course Lucy had to tell Y/n and mess everything up. "Y/n, bab-"

"Don't." Y/n says while holding her hand out and shushing Lauren. "I'm done pretending. I can't fake being happy or deny my emotions for any longer. I need a break Lauren." She concludes and feels a small weight lifted from her heart.

Lauren looks at Y/n speechless. Why didn't she notice the change in Y/ns behavior earlier? Of course Y/n knew about that night, Lauren couldn't stop thinking about how stupid she was while Y/n started to pack some utilities for the next few days. She snaps out of her thoughts and runs upstairs to Y/n. "Wait." She says while looking at the duffle bag that Y/n packed.

Y/n looks up at her girlfriend and Lauren's heart breaks at the sight of Y/ns tears. Y/n looks back down at her suitcase when Lauren doesn't say anything.

"I'll go, you stay." Lauren says and pushes Y/ns hands away from her bag and holds onto them. "It's my fault, I should have to go." She clarifies when Y/n looks at her.

Y/n pulls her hands out of Lauren's grip and nods her head. "If it's what you want." She says quietly.

Lauren feels a tear fall from her eye and she wraps her arms around Y/n. "I'm so sorry." She mumbles into Y/ns neck.

Y/n rubs Lauren's back and nods her head, acknowledging Lauren's apology but she's not ready to accept it yet. "I'll call you when I'm ready to talk." Y/n says while gently pushing Lauren off of her.

Lauren wipes her tears and nods her head. She suddenly becomes shy when she talks to Y/n, it reminds her of the first time they met. "C-can I take one of your shirts?" She asks while looking at Y/ns shirt.

Y/n follows Lauren's eyes and nods her head knowing that she wants the one she is wearing. She slips the shirt off of her body and Lauren looks at her in awe.

Lauren wants to shower Y/ns body with love, but Y/n needs her space. Y/n holds the shirt out for Lauren, and the Cuban accepts the shirt.

Y/n watches Lauren pack her stuff for the next ten minutes. Lauren couldn't stop silently crying the entire time. It pained Y/n to see her like this, but she knew that Lauren did this to herself.

"Call me soon, please." Lauren says pleadingly to Y/n while looking into her eyes.

Y/n nods her head and is taken back by Lauren's body colliding with hers. After a few moments of this, Lauren pulls away and runs out of the house.

Y/n sits down on the bed and puts her head in her hands. She throws her head back and looks at the floor in a daze. Sometimes faking your emotions can protect you from the harm of others.




hopefully you guys liked this. i feel a lot more confident in this work than how i used to write.

updates will be every 7-9 days

-Sydney

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