I was once told that avoiding something doesn't mean you dislike it or no longer want it in your life. It could also mean that you want it, but you just know it isn't right. I've come to the conclusion that my plan is a bust. Coming in contact with certain people made me realize I can't avoid the reality of my life. At 20 I still had demons I haven't dealt with and I came to that realization all because of some boys I used to loathe. Mission failed...time to move on. I'm not quite ready to face these truths.
I stood leaned up against a wall looking down at my phone. I posted the blog, locked my phone then put my phone in my purse that is hanging on a hook. It was only a matter of minutes before I would have to go on stage with my line sisters for the Howard homecoming Greek step show. I leaned down looking at myself in the vanity mirror making sure I looked okay from my hair to my makeup. Once I was done I went over by the edge of the stage with some of my line sisters who were watching the Zeta Phi Beta's performance. I could care less about what they're doing. I held onto the curtain taking in all of the people in the crowd. There was so many people, but I wasn't nervous.
One of my soror's tapped my shoulder saying, "It's time to line up." Following behind them we lined up in order. I was in the front of the line because I would be in the front. I even had a couple of solo parts and I helped the step master choreograph it, so knew we would at least place. We always do. We were out to win this year.
I could hear the crowd clapping and screaming for the sorority ahead of us. After some moments they announced us and we filed out. My eyes scanned the screaming crowd looking for familiar faces. Front and center inside the part that barricaded off the crowd was D'Anthony standing there with some other Kappa's including Gideon and his cousin. He was laughing as one of the Kappa's danced with the Howard mascot, the Bison. I could see his smile all the way from up here and it made my heart melt.
I hadn't spoken to or seen D'Anthony since that terrible double date I tried to pull off and that was weeks ago. I was avoiding him. I tried to blame it on being busy with school, work and preparing for the step show, but I couldn't face him. Why? Because I knew Gideon told him the whole story of what happened back in high school. I was ashamed. That was my deepest, darkest secret and now someone who wasn't involved knew. It wasn't my fault, but a part of me felt like it was. It made me feel dirty and tainted. I didn't want his sympathy either.
YOU ARE READING
The God Complex || GoldlinkGeneral Fiction
D'Anthony Carlos has skated through life always being protected. When you're related to the biggest drug cartel in the DMV you gotta be protected. When all of your uncles are the most feared and respected you automatically garner the same attention...