How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

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Apparently there is an impending zombie Apocalypse or something coming.  So here are a few rules to keep yourself safe.

1.  If you are attacked in the open it is every man for himself.  Remember, you don't have to outrun the zombie, you just have to outrun the person next to you.  You shouldn't have much trouble though.  How fast can a dead person be anyway?

2.  Make sure you are in a place with plenty of food and water.  Basically just barricade yourself in the nearest grocery store.  Zombies have decaying muscle tissues and therefore aren't very strong, so they shouldn't be able to get through the doors.

3.  Now you should come up with a plan to get rid of the zombies.  Now I know what you're thinking:  How do you kill something that's already dead?  Well the answer is quite obvious.  All you really need to do is incinerate them.  You kill the zombies and clean up the mess simultaneously.  Also, zombie ash is good for the environment.  I believe the flamethrowers are kept on aisle two.

Good luck. 

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