50 Funny and Awesome Comebacks :D

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1. If I am ever drunk, you'll be damn good looking. 


3. Oh this is coming from the poster child for abortions?

4. Oh this is coming from the one who fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?

Optional way to say it: Oh this is coming from the guy/chick who fell out of the ugly tree?

5. I can get plastic surgery to fix my ugliness, you on the other hand will be stupid for eternity.

6. I don't know what makes you stupid, but it really works!

7. Oh my god it spoke!!!!

8. Oh I'm sorry I didn't get that, I don't speak idiot.

9. If I wanted a bitch I would've bought a dog!

10. You have a face not even a mother could love....

11. Hey your village called they want you back by 6!

12. Who pissed in your cheerios?

13. You know what I would find if I looked up idiot in the dictionary (Their response a picture of you?) No a definition of an idiot which you are.

14. You make the guys on Jackass look like Einstein.....

15. Oh I'm sorry. Was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face.....

16. I would call you a retard but that would be insulting to retards.

17. I'm already visualizing ductape over your mouth.

18. Oh your such a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent person... Oh I'm sorry i thought we were having a lying competition....

 19. Your a dork and you know what a dork is.... Its a whales dick which means you're the biggest dork/dick in the world.....

20. That's not what your mom said last night!!

21. (If someone calls you ugly) Apparently the image of you in the mirror is burned into your skull, and holy crap are you right!

22. I've been called worse by better.

23. You must've been born on a highway, that's where most accidents happen.

24. Well your day was a total waste of makeup.

25. If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

26. I would slap you but I don't want to make your face look any better.

27. I'd slap you, but that'd be animal abuse.

28. What did you eat for breakfast? Bitch Flakes?

29. Sorry, I can't put small objects in my mouth or I'll choke.

30. How come I always wear these clothes? How come you always wear that mask?

31. If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in.

32. Your face is very becoming... Becoming more and more ugly every time I see it.

33. Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation?

34. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

35. You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication.

36. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

37. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

38. (LOVE THIS) Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

39. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

40. Insult: You're a fail 

Comeback: So was your Dad's condom/Your mom's abortion

41. You're just mad because your mom has a bigger dick than you.

42. You should wear a condom on your head, if you're going to be a dick you might as well dress like one.

43. Have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives at the mall, you should get one.

44. Insult: You suck!

Comeback: And you swallow ;)

45. If you want a good comeback go wipe it off your mom's face.

46. You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass.

47. Insult: You're gay.

Comeback: You wish I was.

48. Insult: FAIL!

Comeback: No one asked for your life story.


49. I've had snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Crispies.

50. Insult: Fuck you!

Comeback: No thanks, I don't want herpes.

 51. Douchebag say whaaaat?

Bonus Comeback: Insult: Why do you even wear a bra? You have nothing to put it in.

Comeback: You wear pants don't you?

Have fun my minions x]

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