Chapter XLII

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The Bible gave me the imagination that I had a heart not made of anatomy, a vital part of my life yet a place where the good and the worst were lodged inside of

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The Bible gave me the imagination that I had a heart not made of anatomy, a vital part of my life yet a place where the good and the worst were lodged inside of. And I believed it was this heart which cracked into a new piece with the coming weeks like a fine china slowly breaking on the ground to live on with the way things had been set, soon the news of Mr. Howard's departure reached my house.

"Alice!" Mama shouted when the tea cup fell from my hands instead of making it back to the tray for the maid to take it away.

"Oh my, forgive me," I said to the maid trying to pick up the pieces.

"Milady careful or you will cut yourself," Mrs. Miller picked me back up at once from the floor outraged with my action to help.

"My apologies..."

"You have already apologized and she heard you," Mrs. Miller corrected me to stop at once, "now you may do as you will," she turned to tell the maid and I looked at the dear teacup all broken never to be the same. It had come to its end through my clumsy hands and if only it had been in the care of someone who was careful with it this would never had happened, nothing never would have happened to me.

The maid wiped the dusty white pieces off the floor taking it to be disposed of and I watched mesmerized by the simple house action when mama came in reading something.

"Lord Howard is gone to the country Alice," mother said.

"Yes," I nodded looking for a book to distract myself with.

"Did you know of this?"

"No the Earl just never liked to stay in London for too long," or anyone for that matter.

"Right of course I remember when you worked for him, soon you were out in the country. But still I wonder what made him go before the season ended he had given the appearance of being interested in taking a wife."

"What?" Apparently he and mama were much closer than I had imagined previously.

"We talked of what it would be like if we ever met someone worth marrying to which is why I thought he would stay, until his arrangements were made."

"Mr... Lord Bridgeston is a very changeable man," Mr. Howard had been seeking out my mother's thoughts so that he could ask her hand in marriage no doubt like everyone expected and in this moment I did not regret very much accepting Joseph.

"Yes that is the word, although I did not wish to part with a clear minded gentlemen like him he did apologize for not making the house call in this letter," mother continued.

"May I get back to my book mother?"

"Yes but you are the one who has me worried now, when was the last time you went for some air?"

"A week ago I think," it was specifically when Martha insisted she needed me in order to go talk to Cynthia about her engagement to Arthur.

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