15) 'Am I Gay?' And Other Questions That Would Much Rather Fit An 80's...

6.7K 649 581
                                                  

15)'Am I Gay?' And Other Questions That Would Much Rather Fit An 80's Musical Than The Everyday Life Of A Skyrim Addict


As hostile as his friends could act sometimes, deep inside, really, really, really deep inside, they were supportive. Supportive? Was that even a thing to him? Up until a few days—day—ago, anything remotely related to romance was a faraway thing, seen mostly on his mother's Netflix sessions and RPG sidequests. Occasionally the squad would make fun of a couple making out or otherwise being feelsy in public, out of spite.

And now?

"How does it feel to like guys?" asked Martin. They were gathered on their usual spot, munching on their lunches.

Messiah sucked his teeth. "That's offensive."

"Your mom is offensive."

"What!?"

"Not again," pleaded Pi.

"Does the thought of getting penetrated in the anus sexually stimulate you?" asked Heston.

Cue a collective groan.

"Heston, for fuck's sake..."

"Thanks for the visual."

"Why don't you go back to picking your nose or something? It's less disgusting than most of the things you say."

Benjamin, on his part, was hyperventilating.

He wasn't even sure if he liked guys. He wasn't even sure if he liked anything. Getting kissed by a guy and not precisely unliking it didn't make you gay, did it? Maybe it did. He didn't really know. It would be easier if he could make a gender-bending machine, put Thijmen into it and then kiss him/her.

"Would Thijmen be hot if he was a girl?" asked Benjamin.

Cue a collective groan.

"Is it National Gross Out Your Friends While They Eat Day or what?" grumbled Martin. Heston burst out laughing. Pi just gave up on it completely and put his food away.

"I mean," continued Messiah, munching on his banana sandwich as if nothing, "I guess? Is he attractive as a guy? Benjamin?"

"Am I attractive, Benjamin?" asked Martin.

"What about me?" asked Heston.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Benjamin replied, and then he fled (to the bathroom, for the curious). At said place, he found Thijmen splashing his face with water. Really. It wasn't even funny. Sometimes Benjamin swore his life was getting written by a bunch of teenager authors. He thought about fleeing again, but where? With his luck he'd end up running into a bunch of popular people or something similarly scary. Scarier.

"Shit," he said. Thijmen brutally ignored him. Or maybe he didn't listen. Probably the latter, because once he was about to get out he paused, glanced at Benjamin and raised his eyebrows.

Benjamin had been staring again. Of course he had been staring again. In his defense, he had a reason. Some guy barged out of the stall and walked past them without washing his hands. "I wasn't staring at you," mumbled Ben, "for no reason, I mean. I mean I have a reason. I was trying to picture you as a girl."

Another guy reached the door, heard the phrase, turned on his heels and left.

Honestly, same.

"That's even weirder than not having a reason at all. Why would you picture me as a girl?"

"That's confidential."

"Does it have to do with the kiss?"

Benjamin looked away awkwardly. Did he really have to say that out loud? So freshly? Seriously. He didn't feel like trying to hide the obvious, so he just nodded.

None the WorseWhere stories live. Discover now