Loving you wasn't enough ...

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They were what people would call 'society misfits' ... video games were their way to escape this cruel world ... when they first knew each other, it was in an otome game for boys, coincidently, both of them wanted to try this kind of games ... it was a game where they should play as partners ... that's what they did and they ended up having the best scores ... then they played a lot of games as partners ... they always had the best scores till they became famous in the gamers community ... they were known as the 'Double Black' the most feared duo in the gamers community ... that's when they had an idea ... to make what happened in the otome game a reality ...


The first time they met was in college ... they were studying in the same field ... in the same year ... so many coincidences ... maybe fate wanted them to be together ...
Chuuya was so short but actually attractive, Dazai won't deny it ...
Dazai seemed like a freak with his bandages but he was hot, Chuuya won't deny it ...
Did they have a crush on each other from the first look ? ... who knows ...
They made a resolution ... they will become the most famous guys in the campus just as in the game ... they were inseparable ... girls were always around them ... even guys ... they would always hung out together ... when they were alone they would go to an arcade and play video games till the evening ... they knew everything about each other ... they were what people would call 'best friends' .
They were famous now ... they were perfect.
Everyone loved them ... but only the two of them knew each other's secret ...
Chuuya wanted to get revenge on the guy who played with his feelings ... on the guy who ruined his high school life ... on the guy who ruined all of him ... Dazai helped him getting it ... Chuuya thanked him.
Dazai wanted to get revenge on the girl who played with his feelings ... on the girl who ruined him and all his family ... on the girl who made his dad commit suicide and his mom enter a psychiatric hospital ... Chuuya helped him getting it ... Dazai said :"I'm sorry" ... Chuuya punched him ... "I didn't help you to hear you say that, say 'thank you' and that will make me more than happy" ... Dazai didn't say 'Thank you' ... he just smiled ...
But what Chuuya never thought ... is that he could fall in love with Dazai ... and he fell in love with Dazai ... he fell so hard for him .
He didn't want to confess and ruin everything ... but each time the other looks at him ... his heart could just skip a beat ... each time he sees the other smile and be gentle with others ... his heart could just hurt ...
He couldn't bear this burden anymore ... he had to confess ...
And that's what he did ...



The end was obvious ...




He got rejected ...
He knew why ... he knew how much Dazai cared for his image in the society ... he knew how many efforts Dazai made to have a good image again ... to be accepted by this cruel society ... he knew that even if Dazai loved him back ... he would never accept him ... because being gay isn't welcomed by this society ...
But Chuuya also knew that the path Dazai chose isn't the good one ... he knew that the image Dazai created to himself is just fake ... because that image just counted on appearences ... all people who 'loved' Dazai and 'cared' for him did it just because he had good looks and was rich...
Chuuya knew he'll get hated for the rest of his life by the one he loves the most ... but he loved him ... more than everything ... he knew that one day will come when Dazai will be thankful for what he did ... that's why he did what he did ...
He made Dazai's secret public ... everyone knew that he got dumped by some girl who stole everything his family had ... everyone knew that because of him ... his dad is dead ... his mother is insane ...
Chuuya broke Dazai again ... from that day ... Dazai didn't appear in the compus anymore ... he fell in despair once again ... and he couldn't bring himslef to get up ...
Chuuya waited and waited and waited ... there was no sight of Dazai ... he had to meet him ... he was prepared to face anything ... Dazai's screams ... his anger ... his punches ... his rage ... everything !
He was in front of Dazai's house ... it was raining ... till he saw Dazai coming back ... it seems that he went to buy something to eat ...
Now Dazai was facing him ... he was pale ... his eyes were empty ... he was wet ... he had no umbrella ... but then ... before Chuuya could say anything ... Dazai just smiled ... and pronounced those four words
"Are you happy now ?"
Chuuya was prepared ... he was prepared to face everything ... anything ... but not this ... it hurts ... it really hurts ... even if someone stubbed him in the middle of his heart at this moment ... he wouldn't feel it ... because the hurt was incomparable ...
When Dazai passed across of him ... he knew that there was no going back ... Chuuya knew that this was the end .








Being alone for months ... years ... gave Dazai all the time he needed to think ... he remembered everything ... he thought and rethought about everything ... and he eventually got to realize ... realize that what Chuuya did was just for his sake ... but how could he face him now ? ... how could he say that he had always loved him now ? ... how could he convince Chuuya that he didn't care about this society anymore ? ... after he left him all alone under the rain that day ...
That's why Dazai made it his goal ... to become a Programmer and create a continuation to the otome game he and Chuuya always played together ... and there he would tell him all he wanted ... and that was what he did ...

After years ... he became a famous programmer ... he asked the game's company to create the continuation ... they accepted his request ... he created it ... then he contacted his only common friend with Chuuya... it was Akutagawa ... he asked him to give a copy of the game to Chuuya... and that's what he did ... Chuuya received it ... he hesitated ... but he ended up playing it ... with Dazai as his partner ... it was just like back then ... as if he lived everything that happened with them once again ... he cried so much while playing ... because he got Dazai's message ... it was obvious that in all the game Dazai wasn't saying 'i'm sorry' ... he was saying 'Thank you' ...
In the end he found something ... a code only him could understand ... a message only him could get ... now he knew where to find Dazai ...
Chuuya got out of his apartment ... coincidently it was raining ... it brought back painful memories ... Chuuya just run ... and run ... and run ... till he got to that arcade where he used to play video games with Dazai ... Dazai was sitting there waiting for him ... Dazai smiled ... Chuuya smiled back ... then he set in front of Dazai ... then they played ... played for a long time ... just as they used to do in the past ... Chuuya didn't play from a long time ... so he lost almost all the rounds ...
Suddenly he heared his phone ... he picked up the call ... he was needed so he had to go ... he got up and walked ... then stopped beside Dazai ... he smiled and lifted his hand for Dazai to shake it ... Dazai held it ... that's when he saw that ...















... there was a ring in Chuuya's ring finger ...



... then he heared those four words ...
"I am happy now ."









That's when Dazai realized that 'It was already too late' ...









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