Religious Mistakes

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1) There was once a poor priest who's church was in a bad shape. There were holes in the roof, and the air conditioner didn't work. He started to read a book about hypnosis, and in time, he mastered the art of hypnosis.

At the next congregation, he raises his watch and slowly swings it back and forth. He says,"All of you, put $20 in the basket." It worked successfully, and he was able to fix the air conditioner.

Becaus of this, at the following congregation, he swings his watch again, and says,"All of you, put $100 in the basket." This also worked successfully, and he was able to fix the holes in the roof.

While at another congregation, the priest, swinging the watch, started to think about himself. "I deserve a better life," he thought. "I deserve to be rich, to be able to sail on a Caribbean cruise, sipping smoothies while sunning myself." As he got more and more excited, the watch slipped from his hand, and he yelled,"SH*T!!!"

The priest couldn't get rid of the stink for weeks.

2) A little boy once wanted $100 dollars. He sent a letter, addressed to God, USA. When the postman got the mail, he decided to send it to the President of the United States of America. When the president read the letter, he was very touched and amused. He told his secretary to give him $5, and send it to the boy, thinking that the boy would think this was a lot. When the boy received this, he was very happy, and sent "God" a thank you letter:

Dear God,

Thank you for the $5.oo. However, I noticed it went through Washington D.C., USA, and as usual, the crooks deducted $95.00.

3) At the conclusion of a sermon, the priest said,"Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars. To prepare for this, I ask you to read the 17th chapter of Mark."

The following Sunday, the priest asks,"Now, all of you who have done as I requested, pleasee raise your hand." Nearly all of the hands in the congregation go up. The priest continues,"You guys are the people I wish to talk to. There is no chapter 17 of Mark."

(As my sister says: (^.^) #Likeaboss)

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