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"The Last Weblog of Jonathan Lippincott"

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Mr. Ngolo was a massive man, with a broad dark face and a loud suit. He spoke good English with a nasal accent, and his demeanor was calm. He sat facing Innis Garris, detective at Homicide, Precinct 20.

Sergeant Bolland stood by the door to Garris's office, and regarded the two seated men with his usual flat expression.

Garris said: "Mr. Lippincott's wife called the university when her husband wouldn't answer her phonecalls, text messages and e-mails. Then they took one look at his weblog, and called us. I have now read Mr. Lippincott's weblog, and I'd like you to read it."

"If you wish," said Ngolo.

Garris turned the flatscreen monitor on his desk around, and handed Ngolo the computer mouse to scroll with. It was a seemingly ordinary weblog, with postings arranged chronologically from July the 4th of that year...

***

July 4

Hi, Web people!

I'm Jonathan Lippincott, welcome to my first blog.

Everyone's blogging, and I'm late on the bandwagon (as usual ;)). I asked my wife: what should I blog about? She told me I must not post pictures of the kids and family, because you never know what psychos out there might notice.

I promised her not to post any photos. That doesn't mean you're a psycho. ;-)

I live in that big city up East that we all love, with my wife Sheryl and our two kids. Our apartment overlooks Sanford Bay. I work in the philology department at Antonioni University, nothing to write home about, but a nice job. Sheryl is a stay-at-home mom who does a little day trading on the side.

I want to blog about things I wonder about... not everyday stuff, but curious things. (Everybody talk about their kids, look at this picture, isn't he adorable, yadda yadda.)

Such as junk mail. It's getting weirder and WEIRDER. It used to at least try to sell something. Now it's just an empty mail and garbled text that doesn't mean anything. Taglines like "Gorww your ckokk." What's the point?

And now I hear 80% or more of all communication on the Internet is junk mail. Junk mail that you can't read and doesn't sell anything. It makes no sense...


Or does it?

There are rumors, of course. Some say junk mail is really a code system, used by terrorists and organized crime for their internal communication.

Another rumor, I heard it at work, is that it must be a conspiracy: some covert group is flooding the Internet with junk mail and comment spam as sabotage, in order to choke it. But who would want to stop the Internet? Your guess is as good as mine.

But I've been thinking about it, and I've read through all my spam for a whole two weeks, and I'm beginning to make my own theory.

You want to hear it? I'll tell it tomorrow. Gotta set off the evening's fireworks... Happy 4th of July! God bless America!


-JL

-------------------

COMMENTS:

WorkMate wrote:

Welcome to the blogging community, Jonathan! I feel partly responsible for your blog, since it was I who recommended the free blog service you're using. Don't wrack your brain over spam, it's just a bunch of morons trying to scam other morons out of their money. Happy 4th of July. :)

Benton Colson wrote:

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