Screw Lois Lane, Superman Is Mine

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"Don't be such a girl!"

"I'm not!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really!"


"Unfortunately," I mumbled, Spiderman looked at me with his red mask planted firmly on his face. I rolled my eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. Spider was always like that. Getting mad at me just because I couldn't accept my own condition. I was gay.

I know! The almighty Batman is gay! What is life? I thought Batman liked Catwoman? Nope, she is a complete bitch! Every time I walk by that skank she is all like 'oh, Batty, let me use my whip on you' and I'm all like 'No'. She doesn't know, the only one that does is Spiderman does.

"Spider, what are we gonna do with me?" I asked. He looked down at my torn up blue and grey uniform and tilted his head. I had just gotten back from yet another fight with fucking Joker. He was getting on my last nerve with his carved up smile and his gross ass laugh. I was also tired of him hitting on me. Him getting close, his breath down my neck, the way he touched me right before we fought. Oh, god I was getting turned on again.

"I think I can make you a new one," he said. I laughed and shook my head.

"I like this one."

"It's gay."

I threw it. "What do you have in mind?" I followed him and tried to keep my eyes off of the way his tight uniform hugged his body. Spider was one of my best friends and I loved him. The way green eyes lit up when we talked, the way his smile never showed teeth. It might sound like I have a major crush on him, but in all reality? I was totally over that phase. I had loved him at a point in time, but now I realized that he would never loved me like that. Not with Black Cat all over him. He was confused although he refused to admit it. Poor kid.

He sat down behind a desk and pulled out his drawing stuff as I looked around the room. This was a secret place where the supers all liked to hang out. Spiderman, Green Lantern, Wolverine, The Flash, Captain America, Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, ext. Superman too. Lets not forget him. Those tight blue tights, that red little underwear piece, that sexy symbol, and his cape! Oh lord that damn cape.

"Bat, you alright?" The voice was familiar. It's like if you think of him, he fucking comes. I rolled my eys and mentally told myself to stop thinking about someone who was obviously straight.

I shook my head and looked at him with the bored expression I gave everyone. "Just tired of this bullshit with Joker." He smirked.

"Joker is exactly that, a joker. You need to get him under control, Bat."

"I'm trying."

"You want a real super to help you?"

Here we go. "I am a real super."

"You don't have a power," he countered. It seemed like every time I saw his sexy face we argued about this. I was a superhero, because I saved Gotham. He begged to differ since I had no powers. Dare Devil didn't have powers either but they never picked on him! Maybe it was because he was blind.

"I save Gotham all the time."

"Oh, is that why Joker is still out there killing?"


'You need to get your priorities straight."

I clenched my teeth together. "At least I'm not scared of a damn rock." His blue eyes turned murderous as they met mine. He grabbed me by my throat since my uniform was now in the trash. The only thing I had on were my black boxers and my mask. No one was allowed to know each other's secret identities. People would fucking freak if they knew I was Bruce Wayne. I knew Spider was Peter Parker and he knew who I was, but we all had decided it was safest to keep it away from each other.

"I am not afraid! It's-"

"A weakness. The almighty Superman has a weakness! Oh, let the world cry!" I spit out. He narrowed his eyes and his sexy jawline was more prominent as he pulled me closer. I shouldn't want him to fuck me senseless but that was exactly what I was thinking. I wanted him in me. I wanted him to take us up in the air and for him to fuck me like I was his bitch. But everyone knew his bitch was Lois Lane. Brown hair, big green eyes and a lovely smile. All talk and a even worst bite.

"I have one weakness, while all you are is a wannabe. You're a human!"

"You're a fucking alien!"

"Chill guys!" Spider yelled. His mask muffled his voice but the demand was still noted. Superman looked at me with those eyes once more before putting me down. I hadn't noticed before but he hadn't really choked me. He just held me by my throat. Almost like a lover would when he was about to-

"Keep your city under control," he said and then flew out, probably just to rub it in my face.

"Smooth," Spider said. I slapped him on the back of his head and he laughed.

"Get working, Parker." he stuck his tongue out and I watched as he sketched. He was very talented and always has been. With photography and drawing. He exceeded in many things. The whole spiderweb thing just creeped me out. Like when he "released" would it be a spiderweb? I looked down at him and found his mask slightly up and his tongue was sticking out as he focused.

I smiled. "I have to go," I said, looking at my watch.

"You're naked."

"I have boxers."

"Don't run into Catwoman. She might rape you," he snickered. I slapped him once more and then made my exit, trying to hide the damn blush that crept into my cheeks. I was walking through a place where all of the superheros to ever live came when they were not busy. This was like the superhero clubhouse. Where everyone exchanged stories and who they were in love with. It was ridiculous.

I felt a hand on my back and immediately turned around to see Green Arrow. He smiled at me with his blonde hair sicking out from under his hood. "Nice boxers."

"Nice hood," I said dully. I went to start walking again but he pulled my arm and held me back.

"You see Superman around?" he asked, I rolled my eyes. I was not that boy's keeper.


"Can you help me find him?"


"Is that all you say?"

"No." He scuffed and then walked out mumbling how he would break my bat wings one day. I smiled and walked into the parking garage where my Batmobile was. Oh how I loved my Batcar/Batmobile. The black metal surronding the beautiful interior with updated technology. I hopped in and watched the top close after me.

I saw a red and blue blur fly across the sky and sighed. How I wish I could have him

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