Three days later
"Meredith, it's 11:30. Don't you need to go?" Nathan says while carrying Ellis down the stairs of my mothers old house.
"Yeah. I just, can you come? Please? With the kids?" I ask.
"Of course. I'll go get them ready quickly. Stay here and get mentally prepared." Nathan says.
I nod and think of every great time Derek and I spent together.
That first morning, here in my living room. At the hospital. The elevator. When he proposed. When we decided to adopt Zola. When I had Bailey in a huge storm. At our house when I told him about Bailey. When he said he wanted more, thus Ellis as a result.
By now tears at streaming down my face. I wipe them away and father my purse and coat and get into the car as Nathan buckles the kids in.
We drive for a while, his hand resting on mine on the middle console.
"It's just down this way." I say quietly.
He turns down the bumpy dirt road. I see a black Porsche in the driveway. Nathan pulls up a little bit farther away from it.
"Who's car is that?" He asks.
"Derek's. I-I didn't know he kept it. I thought it got wrecked in the crash." I whisper. I slowly get out and close the car door. I decide to leave the kids there.
I hear the front door of the house open and a dark haired man steps out.
"Meredith!" He says.
"Derek." I say tensely.
"Why aren't you running over?" He asks.
"I'm sorry. I-i can't do this Derek. This, what's happening right now, can't happen. I've accepted that you were dead. Amelia accepted you're dead. Now whenever she gets sad or depressed about it, Owen has to deal with it. Derek, I've moved on. I take care if Zola and Bailey and Ellis by myself or with a little help from Amelia, Maggie or. Well, the point is, I'm not alone in this Derek. I thought I was but we're not. This was a bad idea. I need to go. Come to the hospital tomorrow. People new to see that we've all been lied to." I say sharply.
"Mer. Meredith!" Derek shouts.
I run back to the car, which is still running. I quickly get in and we drive away.
When we get home I take Ellis an go upstairs to her nursery and feed her, while Zola and Bailey play downstairs while Nathan makes them a snack.
Nathan would make a great father for the kids. The fact that they already like him and the fact that he loves them. And I suppose me. If he's willing to do all of this, and deal with all of my baggage, he's a keeper.
"Meredith, Zola was asking why we went to her old house today. What do I tell her?" Nathan asks peeking his head in the door.
"Tell her I had to talk to someone about selling the house. I have to eventually. Or rent it out, because right now it's gathering dust." I say, picking up Ellis. I place her into her crib and walk out of the door. "I can tell her now."
We walk downstairs to find Zola looking up at me.
"Mom? Why did we go back to our old house today?" she asks.
"Well, I had to talk to someone about renting the house to someone because we don't live there anymore, and it would be good to get money for you, your brother and sister for college." I say.
"Mom, I'm six. Bailey and Ellis are younger. I have a long time before college." Zola says.
"There's 12 years, but that can go by quickly if you don't savor every moment, Zo. I remember 12 years ago, I was applying for a job at Seattle Grace Hospital, which then turned into Seattle Grace Mercy West, then Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital." I say, reminiscing on all of the good and all of the bad memories that I still carry around with me to this day, nearly 12 years later." I say to my oldest daughter.
"Okay. But why did the person you talked to looked like my old daddy?" Zola asks.
"I uh, Some people look very similar. We might not be seeing that realtor again. He didn't appreciate the true value of the house and wanted to either sell it for much less than what it was worth, or rent it for a really lot price, basically letting other people live there for free."
"Oh. Okay. Well, can I see it one last time before we let someone else live there?" Zola asks.
"Of course, honey." I say.
