Killing Honor (excerpt)

Chapter Two

Waking up in a hospital bed was never a good thing, especially when half my upper body was wrapped in bandages and ached like crazy. I groaned and tried to sit up with my good arm, but my side felt like someone had sliced it open.

"Hey." I glanced up to see Hardy standing by the window. The sunlight streamed down behind him, darkening his body almost to a silhouette. I squinted up at him, but I couldn’t focus my eyes.

I blinked the haze from my eyes, and then tried to look at him again. "Hey."

"Feeling better?"

"Not really. I friggin' hurt."

"Well, that's what you get when you decide to take bullets." Hardy pulled up a wooden chair and sat down next to the bed, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. “You fucker. You almost got yourself killed.”

"The woman. Cadence."

"She's good. The NSA has already come and picked her up. You’ve been out for days.”

I collapsed back on the bed and sighed. "I'm a fucking mess, man."

"Why? Because you took a bullet or two?" Hardy shook his head. “We’ve all taken injuries before.”

"I don't know. I've been at this for a year, and I'm not sure I can take much more."

"We go back home in a few months."

"I just..."

"I get it." Hardy nodded. "It's hard. You knew this signing on, though."

"I didn't know about Thirteen. Devyn doesn't know."

"Is that what this is about? Devyn?" Hardy leaned back and pursed his lips.

"She's my wife and I lie to her face about everything."

"She would be in danger if you told her. You can’t tell her anything, especially where it relates to Simon Giroux.”

"I know." God, did I know that much. If any of Giroux's men found out who SEAL Team Thirteen's members were, all of our families would be in danger.

"Oh, shit." I sat up, wincing as the sharp pain in my side amplified itself.  "That... They pulled off my headgear. They saw me. Giroux’s men."

Hardy didn't move.

"Chris! They saw me!"

He nodded, finally, probably just to keep me from moving too much. "I know. We're running a search on the faces of the men that attacked us. Tech says it could take days for the facial recognition software to kick in with results. Maybe months, if they don’t have criminal records anywhere."

“Were there survivors?”

“A few. You weren’t so coherent when the last two retreated. And there was a bunch that ran when the chopper came in.”

“I have to get home.” I pushed up, groaning as I tried to swing my legs over to the side. That was going to take a lot more effort than I had available.

“You can’t go anywhere.”

I snapped my head toward the doorway where the voice originated. Murphy stood in the doorway, his arms crossed, his shoulder against the frame. 

“Why not?”

Murphy pushed off the wall and walked over to my bed. “If you go home now, you’ll put her at risk. If they saw your face at all, they’ll be looking for you.”

“I can’t just leave her alone, Murphy.” He might be my direct supervisor, but if he kept me from keeping Devyn safe, I’d bulldoze right over him. “My kids are there.”

“Could you put her at risk like that? Or the girls?”

“That’s not fair, Murphy.”

“I know it’s not. I’m trying to give you perspective here. Lieutenant Nelson is dispatching the auxiliary team to watch over her for a few days, until they’re sure she’s okay.”

“But if she sees military hanging around her too much—”

“She won’t even know they’re watching.”

I rubbed my good hand over my face in frustration. I should have been there with her. If I had been, there would be no danger to her now. And the twins… they were so young. I still recalled holding them, at two weeks old, before I left for this damned mission.

“I shouldn’t have left her.”

“You didn’t have a choice,” Murphy replied. “You have a duty to perform.”

“There’s always a choice.”

“Look, we have another five months or so out here, digging up what we can on the Giroux arms operations. You’re laid up for a good two months at least while you heal, probably longer. It’ll go fast. You’ll be home before you know it.”

I leaned back against my pillow. I didn’t have a choice. I would have to stay until they released me. It didn’t stop me from missing the hell out of my wife and kids, and worrying for them.