I woke at the sound of a thump and a whispered curse. "What is Charli doing up at this time of night?" I muttered. My roommate isn't usually clumsy but since I was now wide awake, I might as well see what she'd done. When I opened the bedroom door, my reading lamp spilled light over the living room and part of the kitchen.
Barefoot and wearing only my flannels, I wasn't exactly ready to confront the large man in jeans and a dirty gray hoodie. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
As usual, I'd left my laptop on the island separating our kitchen from the living room. He had it in one hand while the other hand held a large knife. He started towards me and my initial anger gave way to fear.
Charli's door banged open, she saw my attacker and screamed. "Look out,Doll! He has a knife!"
The big man grimaced, glanced her way, then turned his attention back to me. He lunged and, without thinking, I threw my hands out in a protective gesture. He stumbled with an expression of total shock, both feet flew back out from under him. He fell hard; and the knife grated between his ribs. It was his turn to scream.
The EMTs treated the burglar while the cops had him handcuffed to the gurney. Everyone thought we had been incredibly lucky that a dangerous felon had tripped over his own two feet and stabbed himself. Charli and I cleaned the blood, then I called dibs on the shower.
I grabbed some underwear, my favorite jeans, and a flannel shirt. They were all too big. Now don't get me wrong. I've never been the super-model cheerleader type. At best, I could be described as short, busty, and a bit thick. I have been walking and watching what I ate but could not understand why clothing that fit perfectly a few days ago, were now two sizes too large. I pulled the scale from under the bed and dusted it off.
"Charli! Come in here, would you?"
"What's up? You okay?"
"I'm not sure. Does this make sense to you?" I explained my baggy jeans and shirt. "Not only that, but my bra feels like its worn out. And the scale says I've lost more than five pounds in the last few days."
"That is weird. Do you feel okay?"
I shrugged. "Aside from being ravenously hungry, yeah. Let's go grab some lunch while I sort this out."
Since it was Saturday and we'd eaten at home all week, we splurged on the local Chinese buffet. After getting another plateful, I realized Charlie was staring at me. "What? What'd I do now?"
"You do realize that is the third helping, and you inhaled the first two? I was going to ask if you were okay, but there is a glow to your cheeks and you look better than I've seen you in a while."
I took a moment to sit back and reflect. She was right but I only felt like I had finished a single plate. The half pile of Lo Mein and shrimp still looked tasty. Following it up with a dish of ice cream seemed like a great idea. Unconsciously, I adjusted a bra strap."This is getting to be a really weird day."
"You can say that again, sister." She paused with her fork waving over the noodles. "What else can make it weirder?"
"How about the fact that my bra feels fine now and that my jeans actually feel a bit tight?"
Back home, the scale showed that not only had I gained back the lost five pounds, but an additional two.
"Well, that sucks!"