Chapter LV

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For the next months mother's behavior deteriorated along with my peace of mind; even with the staff around her distaste of life became dangerously infantile to everyone in the house

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For the next months mother's behavior deteriorated along with my peace of mind; even with the staff around her distaste of life became dangerously infantile to everyone in the house. The whole of my mind had soon been occupied with taking care of her, most nights I slept before Edna helped me out of my day dress for how tired I was. Then some nights I thought of Mr. Howard of our last encounter, if only that tenderness was a bigger part of who he was I sighed. Though after catching him kissing Lydia, Joseph's mother which he knew nothing of, and how Mr. Howard felt no remorse, would I ever know his character with certainty? What did he cling to? What did he mean when he assumed I could not fathom it? He had sent a couple of calling cards asking to come see us but I said it was best he did not come, it was never wise to see Mr. Howard for I was so alone that the loneliness would drive me right into his arms.

As for Mr. Henry he never sent any letters or cards though Mrs. Campbell visited us once with Lady Scott and Lady Thomas but they were very put off by mother's lack of conversation and decided it was best to not come back. So at the end of every day I was alone with mother, it was only us two and whenever Daniel asked how we were I replied with encouragement for him to study, then I began to see just how mother had been changed when she opened the door to my bedchamber in the middle of the night.

"Alice! Alice!"

"Mother? What is it?"

"Where did you go? I woke up twice and you were gone. Why did you leave? Is Mr. Henry here? Has he come to get you from me?"

"Mother I only came to my room now, I was with you until you fell asleep, I only left you to eat."

"Are you calling me a liar? I am not a liar Alice! You are hiding something from me!"

"I am not please do calm down and let me take you to bed."

"So you can go away again? No I will not go to bed alone! You promised to stay with me and now I am left to the care of others."

"I need the help of others to take care of you mother, I cannot do it alone," I tried to touch her arm but she shoved me off and my head hit the bed post.

"Mother!" I yelled seeing a little blood coming from the back of my head, "look at what you did."

"I..."

"Nurse! Nurse!" I yelled out for the new nurse we had gotten for her.

"No! Leave me alone you wretched nurse! You and the others want me gone!" Mother yelled when she saw the nurse coming in.

"Hold her please," the nurse asked the staff this was not her first fit but her worst one yet.

"I am the Mrs of this house! I will have you all fired!" My mother said as the nurse forced my mother to drink a strong tranquilizer.

"There there Mrs. Theresa you will wake up fine," my mother fell and they carried her to the bedchamber.

"Milady your head," Edna reminded me as I too preoccupied watching my mother being hauled away like there was nothing left of her clarity.

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