Jason

This work has been commissioned by Netflix's 13 Reasons Why campaign with Wattpad. Write your own story about an event that you wish you could change, and tag it with #13ReasonsWhyContest for a chance to win! Visit TeenFiction for more information! Can't wait to read all the amazing stories you guys come up with!! 

***

Jason Johnson.

The all-American, boy next door. Dark hair, blue eyes, and a charming, megawatt smile notorious for taking the breath away from any girl it's directed towards.

He's always been so charismatic, people just can't help but gravitate towards him. But it's me he chose, me who got to be his best friend.

I've always loved Jason, still do.

But I screwed everything up. All it took was one moment, a measly 5 seconds for me to make a decision that shattered my reality, my heart, and any hopes of being truly happy with Jason.

The first time I met Jason I was 14, during the summer before starting high school. I let my puppy off the leash for a second to untangle it and he took off. I spent hours walking aimlessly through the darkening neighborhood, my only company being the constant stream of tears cascading down my swollen cheeks.

Right as I was going to give up, I saw him. A tall, scrawny, dark haired boy who had yet to grow into his body, a bundle of white and brown fluff nestled in his too-long arms. I ran up to him and he flashed me his heart melting smile, depositing little Cupid into my outstretched and shaky arms.

I thanked him for bringing Cupid back to me, and he smiled and said, "I should thank Cupid, since he helped me meet you," the double entendre not lost on either of us as we stood blushing at each other.

Since that day we've been best friends.

He's always been my rescuer, the one I relied on to be there for me to fix my problems. I practically lived worry free since I knew Jason was always just behind the metaphorical veil, ready to swoop in and save the day for me.

I valued his friendship, his mere existence in my life, over anything else in the world.

So at our senior prom, when he looked me in the eyes as a 6'3", muscular football captain, all I saw was that scrawny little boy with the too-long arms who captured my heart without even trying. When he told me that he loved me, that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, it's all those thoughts of our past that snaked their way into my mind, paralyzing the hopeful part of me, reminding me of the friendship I couldn't bear to lose.

So I lied. I told him I never liked him as anything other than my best friend, and that I wouldn't ever see him as anything more.

And I've been miserable ever since.

I wish I hadn't let my fears of losing him as my best friend keep me from saying, 'yes, Jason, I love you, too. Of course I'll be your girlfriend.'

But I didn't.

And now he's in a loving two year relationship with a girl who isn't me, while I'm sitting at home wishing I could go back and redo that moment that changed everything.