Counting Scars - OUAT

Shattered

One week ago, Felix had been murdered. I had counted the days in my head, seven days. No one had the strength to give a speech and a farewell to Felix as he was buried. No one uttered a single memory of Felix, though these memories were replaying in our heads. But, no one, not even me, dared to say a word or even glance in Peter's direction.

Peter was shattered, and we all knew it. Though, it was not his heart that had been shattered again, but the shell of his strength and confidence. I only knew that Felix and Peter were very close, that they have known each other for the longest time. It made my heart ache at the thought of losing the only thing I've ever cared about. And Peter?

Peter has lost countless people he cared for, starting with his parents, Rufio, Summer, and now Felix. It wasn't fair for him to experience so much pain and so much sorrow that he never deserved. It made me think about my life, my past when I was home. A little girl in a perfect little world where she had her family, friends and all the people she cared for all around her, never wanting to leave her side.

I sat on a log near the fire where the embers were dancing in the night sky. I stared at the fire as it was cracking with life, pondering and lingering with my thoughts. Peter was beside me, also staring blankly to the fire. His green eyes reflecting the orange glow of the fire made it almost seem that there was still a bright light inside of him.

Peter began to yawn, his eyes slowly closing, but would snap them open and try to stay awake. Even I was feeling a little sleepy, my eyelids beginning to grow heavy. However, I had promised to watch and stay with Peter tonight. After all, it was my turn to watch him.

Hunter, Blade, and I agreed on taking shifts on watching Peter sleep during the night. Though, Peter rarely slept, just dozed off for a bit but never for a whole night. Not only did he not sleep, but eat. His head hung low and his face had splotches of dirt all over.

I sigh as we watched the fire glow and crackle. Peter yawned again, his eyelids half open.

"Peter, you should sleep," I spoke, turning my head to him. He shakes his head slowly, "not tired."

I chuckle, standing up, "c'mon sleepy head." I take his hands, hoisting him to his feet and guiding him to his tent. He obeyed, sighing and trudging behind, barely picking up his feet. I lay him down on his bed. He buries his head into his pillow and closes his eyes. I pick up his bear, studying it for a minute.

The memories were still coming to me, but I remembered having a bear like this, I just couldn't grasp the memory in my mind. Something tugged at my memory that I had given it to him. It would have sounded reasonable, and I did remember not having it when I came back from Neverland. My mother had assured me that the bear would come back, that we would find him. But I never did find him, until I got to Neverland.

Peter rolled to his side, his breaths soft and even. I tucked the bear into his arms, which made Peter grasp it in his slender fingers and pull it closer to him. Peter, was nothing more than a child. He's never been an adult, I should have noticed that it was no wonder he was not mature.

Or it may have been the fact that he only wanted his freedom. After all, he's been abused by pirates and broken multiple times by he deaths of the people he loved. Maybe it was the demon that causes him to be so taunting and alway seeming to be amused.

I sigh, continuing to study Peter as he slept. He looked so innocent as he was dreaming. His chestnut locks already messed up and his rhythmic breaths steady and calm. It urged me to lay down next to him, replace the bear he held close to his heart.

It made me wonder if he ever thought about me. Ever thought about my features, thinking that I was beautiful or full of light. I couldn't tell if he was at all interested in me. Though, I contemplated at he thought of falling in love with him. However, at this moment, I wanted so much to be in his arms.

I took a deep breath, calming my emotions that made my stomach churn with curiosity. My eyelids began to feel like heavy weights, closing them into darkness. I yawn, laying down on the ground and closing my eyes. The sound of Peter's breaths were pulling me deeper into sleep. But I was trembling from the cool earth below me that I laid on.

Slowly, I fell asleep, and my mind was blank with thoughts, clearing away for the rest of the night and not until morning.

***

I thought I was dreaming when I felt two, strong arms wrap around my freezing body and tuck me under the warmth of the blankets. I didn't care, I was too tired to care. If it wasn't a dream, I would wake up in Peter's bed. I confirmed that with my brain, and my mind had been shut off again.

And when I woke, I was in fact, laying in Peter's bed. Peter was here too, fast asleep with his back towards me. I smile, resisting the want to wrap my arms around him. I didn't know what I wanted, I couldn't tell.

Do I love Peter Pan? Or do I not?

***

A/N: Short chapter :(

I just wanted to say thank you! I've gotten to 7k reads and over 300 votes in this fanfic and I'm not even finished! You all are amazing ilyasm

Word count - 1,003