I was a coward, and that was the truth. I couldn’t accept how cruel life had been, and I couldn’t face the fact that I was the only one who was loyal and compassionate enough to stay. I needed help. I needed a few minutes to myself. I needed peace. I escaped when I didn’t get any of those things. I went wherever I could, to the library, to coffee shops and sometimes I’d just sit in my car with the heater up high listening to ambient music with my eyes closed to the world and my mind so open…so terribly and wretchedly open.
I was alone and that was another fact.